i just don't get it...it didn't smell last night or this morning after i cleaned but tonight it does again.
people must be missing cleaning something that i clean but i can't pin point what it is....it is driving me insane.
i am in a down funk mood...lunch time was utterly chaotic with the vet and visitors here. my morning and afternoon at work was chaotic and the medical care for the FeLV cats is getting really insane too. the vet noticed today that asia is a bit jaundiced..she has been eating and tonight i gave her some of betsy's tube feed and she ate that right away. i am thinking we have to ditch ALL the crappy friskies and fancy feast that they like and switch them to straight high protein kitten food....canned and dry. maybe that will help them get enough calories in. anyway... i won't even consider a tube feed for asia...if she is jaundiced, it has nothing to do with URI or not getting enough to eat because she is basically over her URI and eating just fine. i am thinking that maybe her liver is getting toxic from drug use...i know the shelter that they came from used tetracycline in food and water routinely to try to control the infections in there (i know this because of high dose tetracycline staining of their teeth)....i know the SPCA had them on antibiotics for 2 months before they came here and i know in the 4 months they have been here, we have had them on multiple antibiotics plus vetamino and viralyse alot too.
this disease is such a losing battle..i am so tempted to say screw it and leave them alone..... wait for the first sign of actual illness and then poof, bring out the needle and just let them go.
except...rock did get better, misfit is on the mend, and so is mosley...asia got better til her liver started to act up now....what is the freaking answer here???? i can't find it.
is the struggle, the heartbreak, the work even worth it to them?...geezus...i just do not know.
I WANT SOME FREAKING ANSWERS!!!!! i am so tired of guessing and trying to figure things out. i want god or whoever is in charge to send me an email that is actually clear and HELPFUL!
i don't know if i will keep doing felv cats when these guys are all gone...the worry, the expense, the sadness, the frustration, the guilt... the workload alone, really is too much to handle.
and....today...i am just plain tired of hard.
SHIT!!! i wonder if they are B12 toxic..i just did some reading and apparently B12 is stored in the liver altho B12 toxicity is usually not much of a problem but......hmmm, are we a bit too free with the vetamino????? i am now thinking on this.