these guys come here to die..or to find a new home...whatever comes first. sometimes they don't have much time like tony, and butch and les.
sometimes they have years and years like bill and endora and boo and copper and cole.
you just never know.
death and adoptions have their own kind of time line...five years that sweet beaver waited to find his own home....seven years for bill to die in this last home he ever would know. these are the things over which we simply do not have much control.
but what we can control is how they live each day...how they feel inside of themselves...do they feel important and special? do they feel loved? do they feel like they have some kind of real identity? do they have purpose and value like to teach us something that maybe we didn't know?
when death hits us over and over again in a relatively short period...we all get sore and tired and we never get used to it..we just feel another hard blow. i do think we become more accepting of the lack of control that we ultimately have. death is coming if death is determined and there is not much that we can do about that....at least not for very long.
i think that when we outplay death a few times ....like we have done with spritely...that we almost expect we can win a lot more than we ever can.
but in the end...les and tony and butch and dexter and bill and clyde and wee hopeful bug and asia and betsy...they came here to die...that was the real ending to all of their stories and it will be the ending of many, many more.
and this is the one and only reason that i can truly and fully love the clyde's and the phoebe's in addition to the easier ones and why they don't bug me over and over til i cannot stand them anymore...i know that at some point, i may be holding them in my arms when they finally go.
and i don't want them to ever feel that my love and caring was not real, that it was a lie. so i make myself find the goodness and the the things i can love forever in every single one.
i will do this for my family. i will do this for my friends. i will do this for the animals who i promised i would always be there for....can't say i will do it for anyone else, but i will do it for them.
so my point is this....we can commit to loving and caring...we can make it be real, we make it an act of will...if we want. or we can make it dependent on other things like...their being nice, or pretty or grateful or easy or convenient or making us feel important ourselves.
animals lose their homes, and they come here to end their lives for one reason only...someone did not care enough about them to keep them happy and safe and loved, no matter what.
saints welcomes marshmellow...a beautiful 10 year old white persian whose family was moving...he has been to the vet, he has been shaved to the bone, he is probably a chronic herpes carrier, and this worries me a bit and he will require at least two very expensive surgeries to repair his vision. he is a very sweet and gentle cat.