it just doesn't feel right here...

i think it started with spritely but i can't remember much before her death...so it might have started just before.

but i know her death has something to do with it cuz i felt my eyes well up tonight when i pulled out four apples for four horses at bedtime. i gave gideon her extra apple.

i am glad i am off tomorrow because today was tiring for me. i got to bed late last night because i used up a big chunk of my working evening doing a phone interview for "dogs in canada" magazine. i was up at 5 for the early morning shift and had a busy day. different things took a fair amount of thinking for my over thought out brain.

i got tied up with a late afternoon tour here and the barn guys were frantic for me to get my butt going to get them their dinner. thank god mj and leanne came by so they fed emily her bottles. and then laura and lana came to run their dogs so they helped me get the barn guys to bed.

mj and leanne took puffy daddy home. they are going to foster him for a while which gives me a chance to see what his real problems are in a real family home. i think when he is here, he takes too many cues from the other dogs so i don't get a chance to see what is twisting him up in his head since he just tries to do whatever everyone else is up to...instead of what he thinks up on his own instead.

i told mj she is not to get as attached to him as she did to reggie, cuz puffy daddy might be just as twisted and i don't want her upset if it doesn't work out very well again. anyway..it gives me a bit of a break since we have so many high needs dogs right now.

and speaking of them...that little blind and crippled ancient pom cross up for euth at the pound is coming here instead. i figure she can have tia's place who will soon be going home with marie and once i knew all about her, i just couldn't say, oh gee... sorry.

i did take a proactive aproach and called all the vets, pounds and shelters we deal with and told them that as of today...we are closed to all new admissions until at least the new year. we will probably have a couple of adoptions and sadly more than a few deaths by then. maybe we will have space to help some others...or maybe not...we'll see.

but the point was to get the desperate calls off of me so i don't know what is about to happen to whom.

family surrenders i am just totally ignoring, the message on the phone says we are full..if those animals die, at least they had a home.

besides i need to take some time here to find again whatever it is that feels like it is gone somewhere...if it is spritely then i need to find a way to let her go.