little bastard bullies with a hate on for the world really might be weak little flowers who can't deal well in a very small emotional storm. he passed an old blood filled stool last night...so maybe it is not cancer hiding inside...maybe i am right and 4lane got his little knickers in so tight a knot that he gave himself a small stroke and a GI bleed. we will see if he gets better....he won't get better if he has cancer but he will if he was just very unhappy (for a whole day and a half.)
anyway...he slept on the bed by the heater last night..i gave him an extra fleece for both under and over him. i stroked his pointy little intense face and told him how much i really did love him. i brought him water to drink (which he did) and food to eat (which he turned away from) and i shoved his pills down his throat to settle his tummy so we will see if he maybe will eat something today.
4lane and i are exact opposites...he is spikey and tough on the outside and weanie on the inside. i am a weanie on the outside but a granite cliff under it all.
i think i survive turmoil better than he...altho sometimes my guts hurts so bad too that i think they might one day bleed.
i took a break from felix in my bed last night..i needed a better nights sleep...felix was disappointed but he dealt with it ok....he's another one opposite to 4lane...so totally frail to look at and tough as nails inside..he knows he can survive a little disappointment here and there...he just waits til the next time to get what he wants.
rose is so pathetic to look at..looks like the slightest breeze of unkindness will blow her over, but she survived hell for her entire life and still is here..mentally, emotionally physically..life did not totally beat the crap out of her til she caved in....it just was really mean to her and she still tries to do the best she can to find the goodness around her.
i really believe it is about negative thinking....we all negative think sometimes...but do we make it a life long habit?
if you spend your life sneering at the rest of the world..how can you possibly see the goodness that rose or those 2 really happy cockers see all around them?
so my question for all of us today....what do you see most days when you look inside and outside, around you? do you see the dark and the wrong and the utterly stupid or so you see some sunshine and goodness?
i think i am about half and half...i see alot of darkness but i do see and enjoy the light......(except for right now, i am temporarily leaning toward the dark side because i am still PMSing, and that pisses me off cuz i should be done with all of that crap by now.)
anyway..my deep thought for the day.... if we would all lighten up (4lane!) maybe the world around us would lighten up a bit too for a change.
maybe we make our own light or darkness depending on how we choose to think.