Rescue Journal

even in failure...there is success

Carol  ·  Dec. 14, 2009

when i was looking at the photo's below..i thought of clyde..i wished he had a fairy tale ending, or at least a natural end of life ending...like jesse and oka. but he didn't. he died because i said he needed to die, he was too dangerous here (not his fault..the seizures destroyed his brain.)
and then i thought of his death day..and how utterly careful we were to ensure that he was not afraid...it was more than a 2 hour euthanization and he died as he lived here, safe and asleep, tight up against my belly.

clyde did not have the ending i wanted for him...he did not even have the dream of the beginning...but what he did have from the moment he got here and continuing on til today...is my heart wrapped around him, every moment of every day.


i wish he could have had it all but what he did have was saints...and that meant he had such enormous value, he had a whole family who loved him and knew him and we all surrounded him with the love he had never known in his whole entire life.

nicole...can you please post a pic of clyde...the dog we failed but gave him so much that i think he was ok with it.
that for me is the success of saints.

i will always love you clyde....you are my anniversary dog...the joy and the heartache of living with saints.


edited by Nicole to add Clyde's pic:

Comments

Mo

Clyde was in no way a failure, like Rae said , Clyde came in as a frightened ball of muscle , it was your touch,voice & presence that finally gave him the courage to relax & enjoy that touch . It was sad that Clyde suffered such seizures & rage when they occurred, but he did feel love & kindness & that is the most important thing in the end

Rae

Carol you were Clyde's heart. When I think of how scared he was in the Shelter to how he was with you..... he was home. Thank you for loving him I know it was a challenge at times. You gave him the perfect "Clyde ending" something that would not have been possible anywhere else.