there was carol bawling like a babe again today....

i can't blame it on peri menopause, nor on pms'ing..just on a simple truth inside me. i was talking to maggie and colleen in the shop...we were talking about a lot of interesting things...like how we came to be here today, some of the things i find hard....blah, blah, blah.....and maggie said, why do you feel the need to explain, to justify what and how and why you do this..why do you tear yourself up over worrying about this stuff?
you are our hero.

and i told them, it is because..part of me is ashamed.

i am not ashamed of the animals i live with, they are wonderful in every way. i think it is right that i live with them..i think it is right and good for them and they deserve to have someone love and live with them.

i am ashamed because i am actually able to live with them...i think deep down there must be something wrong with me to not only be able to be here, but to want to be here, day after day after day.

hence the tears...the hero on the outside is inside herself ashamed because she's a freak.

now that is another sucking truth in rescue.