i have this one down pat....
i work 40 hours a week at my paid job.
i work every hour of every day in between here. i work in my movie watching or sleep time by giving affection, comfort, nuturing, even a few moments of mindless play and by sleeping with one ear open for physical/emotional distress or peeing or puking or liquid diarrhea. i work when i am on the computer answering emails about sick animals that someone needs help with, turning away animals we have no room for, offers for donations like half a bag of dog food and 3 cardiac med tablets in north vancouver that needs to be picked up, requests for medical cost assistence, requests for a list of waiting adoptive homes for peeing or biting animals or other rescues who have more room for pee'ers or biters than i do (huh, there is a list?) and i do this with cats on my key board and blocking my screen who want some attention please and dogs on my lap who need some affection too. i stop whatever i am doing whereever, whenever someone needs help or to tell me something, or needs the answer to a question or need me to find or buy some necessary thing that we ran out of or can't be found.
i spoke on the phone 22 times today (while i was at my paid job) in direct regard to saints...6 of those calls were to/from vet clinics, 2 were volunteers, 7 were staff, 3 were lawyers, accountants and insurers, and 4 were people wanting to surrender family pets.
i juggle what money we have to cover enough of whatever to just get thru til maybe the trickling of donations add up to enough to pay a bigger vet bill. i deal the best that i can with the folks who are mad at me, sneer at me, belittle me and my work. i try to acknowledge and appreciate the very many who are supportive and helpful and caring too. i haul and put away 1000 pounds of barn feed and cat litter every single week on my first day off and i try to pay some of the bills and answer emails and phone calls and run the other errands on my last day off, i reorder and pick up refills the 100 medications we give out each day when the med stocks get low. i am responsible for the life and death decisions and observing the animals every day to ensure their quality of life. i am responsible for managing a busy shelter with over 100 sick and special needs animals with 5 staff persons and about 20 volunteers and i am supposed to be available to everyone when needed. i am the night time feeder, walker, floor mopper, the evening laundry drudge and i am the night time nurse who looks after any sick ones. i am the only one caring for them from 5pm til 9 am monday to friday and from 1pm on saturday and sunday til 9 am the next morning... there is only me. who else but a a very efficient and dedicated martyr can solely care for that many animals that many hours a week?
and mostly i don't mind. but i get really ticked off when someone says something stupid like...well considering how often you blog, you must have a lot of free time.
why do people resent my blogging? it is not the first time i have heard this and it won't be the last.
this blog is important to me..it is the moment by moment record, the daily diary and log of every single life here. they all have their moments, they all have their stories here to make them real so someone besides me knows they do/did exist.
i use it to look back on the things i might otherwise forget..the good the bad and the ugly. i present things here that may bring a different thought or a greater understanding of something not yet thought about.
i share as much of this life here as i am able as honestly as i can so people who love animals can participate emotionally even if far away....even if it is sometimes just bitchy venting or a little bit crazy.
this blog has furthered saints interests, we are known alot farther and wider now than we were before the blog.
and when i blog, i still mop floors, flip laundry, pick up poop, let dogs out, cuddle cats, feed dogs cookies, answer the phone, make shopping and to do lists and tell phoebe to please shut up right now. i still watch them, eat, i watch them breathe while they sleep, how they are moving tonight. i check the lap cats for matts and comb them out while they are feeling tolerant and i refill food and water bowls when i watch them empty them in front to me. i moniter the floor sheets and change those as needed, i stop to get esther a cookie or jenny a sandwich or jewel an extra pain pill...i am not sitting on my ass for hours at a time thinking up ways to impress anyone thru what i write.
and why the hell do i feel the need to justify. anyone who has ever sat in my chair knows exactly what goes on around it..there is alot going on around it that i manage to take care of at the same time.
don't like the blog? don't read it. think i should be doing things more efficiently..come on up here..i dare you to show me..there is no way on god's green earth that anyone could get done in one day what i do and still write a blog.
i am a marytr and martyrs only have fun if they really do it BIG...so if someone wants to be a more of a martyr and less of a blogger than me...well..have at her..it is fine with me.
but don't say stupid shit to needle me..i have enough needles sticking into me, don't take the blog which is a very postive thing to me and make it into something for me to be ashamed of.
And what if you were sitting around painting your toenails? As Shelley says, you deserve it!! You do not have to justify yourself to anyone and you certainly do not have to prove that every second of every day is spent in the service of the animals. You do what you do exceptionally well and if you choose to take a few moments for yourself or even, GASP, go on a vacation, then you should NEVER feel guilty!! Those who throw stones are simply miserable with their own lives and need to find some modicum of pleasure in pretending they're better than other people.