i am just waiting for the two tiny girls to go to sleep...(tink and hope)
Carol · May 17, 2010
tinkerbelle was all curled up and ready for bed...hope was still wandering around and checking things out in her xpen...tink was in the xpen too but she got irritated with hope's goofing around. she may only weigh a couple of pounds but it still is not nice to be mean to the blind and elderly frail one. the saints marshal (me)kicked tinkerbelle out of dodge...she is a little bit pissed and wants back in (but this is only because i won't let her.)
tink is doing fine here...big attitude in a tiny body goes a very long way.
i haven't talked much about hope..mostly because she was upsetting me. she has to be close to 20..the dog is destroyed....like felix.... but felix did not know he was destroyed...he thought he was perfectly fine.
but hope knows she is ancient, she knows she can't see or hear, she knows her spine is deformed and her back legs don't work very well. i don't know why she knows it but felix didn't..she is probably much smarter and more "with it' than he was.
anyway..felix was just as vulnerable but it did not occur to him that he was...hope totally gets her vulnerability so she is very grateful to be kept as safe as can be. being that old must have been hard where she came from if the other dogs were running over top of her. and getting shifted around in the past couple of weeks must have been terrifying to her too.
i was watching and trying to figure her out..is she demented? has she a clue about what is going on around her? does she even recognize that she is safe and comfortable?...can she learn to put her trust in me and form a relationship that she values?
(tink is still squeaking in frustrated angst that i won't let her back in that xpen with the very soft beds!)
anyway....every time i pick up hope's twisted, frail body and hold her in my arms....she gives me a few gentle licks of thanks and falls asleep. i know she trusts me. tonight, after tinkerbelle's tiny prima donna display..i laid in the xpen with hope. we had a good 10 minutes of schmoozzing and licky face before she curled up under my chin and settled to sleep.
i made sure her bed was thick and soft enough. i made sure her linens were dry, soft and clean. i filled up her food and water bowls and wrapped her up in a warm fleece.
hope doesn't need a lot from me..some kindness, some cuddles, some comfort and safety and a few quiet minutes to safely sniff around in the grass... she is willing to be my friend whenever she is awake and is glad to have a safe and soft place to lay her head when she is tired.
what she needs, i can so easily give...so why does she make me feel so sad?
because these tiny and so inconsequential things should have been given to her for her entire life in a home that she trusts and knows.