writing did help..i was asleep by 2 (or maybe it was the muscle relaxant)

and 4 hours is just enough to get thru another day so that is good.

sigh...i do wonder if i will ever be able to embrace the whole lay around on the couch in a spotlessly clean house with soft clean carpets under my feet and watch tv or read a book without a bunch of worry things..i hope i can, cuz i dream about a retirement like that one day...my light at the end of the very long tunnel.

i noticed this morning that jesse 's foot is getting better....i was feeling guilty for not taking him to the vet yet but it looks like it just was a strain vs a fracture like i thought,,,sometimes the reasonable waiting part is hard cuz i always alternate between what most likely is and the absolute worst possible.

i pretty much follow this rule....if as a human i needed immediate medical help, then they do too...if i can wait and see a minor injury or illness out, (like a cold or a strained muscle) then i do..so for them the reasonable same is true.

i was in quite a bit of discomfort last night..not just mental but physical too. i somehow pulled my under the shoulder blade muscle...but as usual...some advil and a hot bath and a muscle relaxant at bedtime, and today it feels better.

i had a friend in my early 20's...she was profoundly affected with rheumatoid arthritis (she was a about 10 years older than me and had three active kids.)...i rememeber one day we were over there for a barbacue...and you could tell she was really hurting as i said "why don't you go lay down for a bit..." and she said she couldn't. if she ever gave into her disease and let it get into the habit of making her lay around, one day, she would never get up again.
that stuck with me cuz now i know it is true....there are days when i hurt so bad first thing in the morning or last thing at night, and i can't even put on or take off a pair of socks...(got to love slip on sandels!) but eventually i work it out and can wear socks again.

maybe spiritual, mental and emotional discomfort are the same....you just keep doing what is right in front of you that needs doing and eventually, you move thru all of that shit.
anyway, this is my new plan.

(just do not expect a decrease in whining...whining helps me get along.)