sigh...

my family is requesting i make the quantum leap back from the dark side to the brighter world. yeah ok fine...but it takes a lot to drive me over the edge in the first place so give me a couple of teetering days to get my balance again.

so i have an interesting thought that i was thinking about today...it is still a bit nutty but the intention is pure..... baby steps out of crazy.

i was thinking about that song (which is one of my favorites...i will cut and paste the words)

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

Its not easy to be me

i can see the eyes rolling..oh shit...now she thinks she is superman.
ok no i don't...but i totally empathize with the unreal expectations of others that he felt were sometimes piled on top of him.

people say it is ok for me not to be perfect...but really it isn't or folks would not get so pissed off at me.
and i forgot to give my sister shit for posting my email for the crazies complaint department..i don't need any more that i already get.

i have inside my head this idea of fairness..if someone absolutely has to drive me insane for awhile please don't fault me for actually getting a little bit crazy. if someone absolutely has to say mean and horrible things about me on a public board somewhere..why get upset when i get pissed off?

did someone forget to give me the halo and wings when god sent me out in the world?

anyway...back to super heros...so i was listening to that song and thinking "yeah! right on!!!" in my head.
and i started to try to decide if i was a super hero...who did i most resemble? (this may sound a little bit nutz...but please bear with me.)

ok..it is not superman...first of all.... you would never catch me flopping and sagging around in all of that spandex...secondly..i am truly afraid of heights.

i can forget spider man cuz that kid was somehow ashamed of who he was...plus...he liked to fly pretty high too.

the hulk??? not likely...i really don't get angry too often. and i am not in all that great of shape..even if it is a sickly green...that body is pretty darn buff.

anyway..my pick for my personal super hero totem is....

hellboy.

he gets hot flashes just like me. he really likes animals, especially cats. his sawed off horns kind of resemble my hair, his people skills are not the best but his heart and sense of right and wrong are totally clear and he likes to take care of problems pretty darn quick and efficiently.

plus..i like the way he dresses...it is practical.

AND someone is always giving hellboy shit for how he happens to do things.
i wish hellboy had his own song...i would sing it every day.

Hellboy and Hellgal: crazy hair/horns , like cats ...