Rescue Journal

is hope floating or sinking?

Carol  ·  Nov. 1, 2010

i am just not so sure anymore.

i know i picked the wrong kind of rescue...i should have stayed miles away from cats, rabbits and farm guys...there are millions of homeless cats and rabbits...good luck finding them homes..and if the cats happen to be 16-20, with health or behavioral issues not even good luck is ever going to be finding them any homes.

the farm guys?...just getting a few of them out of the food chain and away from the slaughter houses is the best you can do.

i could have done better with dogs..if i went for the ones we could re-sell for a couple of hundred dollars or more...but 15 yr old incontinents, senior dogs with tumors, skin, or heart disease, diabetes, arthrititis, blind and deaf....humph...good luck finding homes for make sure you are ok for their freaking crazy high vet bills.

some people will say.....

why all the effort...why all the expense to care for these senior and special needs animals?

and i will say right back again...because HUMANS BRED THEM! humans bred them and bought them and sold them and dumped them after every single thing of any value had been used up for whatever it was worth. we sucked these poor ancient animals dry over their entire lifetimes...we took everything we could possibly get and then what? did we stand by and help them at the end?...of course not...we left them somewhere alone to die.

some people will say that saints has it easy...great staff, great volunteers, great supporters too. well i will agree we have these great things but will have to disagree too. these guys vet care is grossly expensive, these guys create 10 times as much work (and laundry) as a young, healthy and continent dog...most of these guys will never find a forever home, so we will be caring for them for the rest of their lives.

there is nothing easy about scraping together the money to pay their bills, there is nothing easy in caring for them every day and there is nothing easy in saying good bye when their lives finally do end here..we love them.

some people will say that human needs and charities must come before animals and maybe that is true...except it was humans that put these animals in need in the first place...they did not get to these unhappy places all on their own.

i am feeling down today...senior and special needs rescue is such a losing battle....never enough money, never enough room...i just never thought there would be so many actually needing rescue.

and yes i am whining again..i think i have that right...i have been here at saints from day one, every day for 6 years, 24/7...that is more than 2000 continual and never ending days of living in the hard life of senior multi-species rescue.

i have weathered the storms, i have handled the sadness, i have put up with the bullcrap and sometimes the utter madness that floats thru the very core..i have not gone under or rolled up in to a beaten ball..i am not bitter or angry or resentful or twisted..i am still honest and caring and working hard to help as many as we possibly can.

but are we getting anywhere? is anything changing? is anything we are doing making it better for all of the rest still out there?

or are they still being bred, bought, sold, and sucked dry by humans before they get dumped?

so is hope floating or sinking for used up and unwanted senior animals?

i don't know any more, but today i feel discouraged like hope has finally sunk.



Carol, you are the Starfish Thrower!!!

Carol Ann

i would take Phoebe but i already have a bigger version of her thanks. and reggie well i'm just getting over a large dog that barked constantly thanks anyway. reggie needs a deaf person..that would be an ideal match don't you think?


yay harold!..altho i wish you would bring him back and trade him for phoebe or reggie!

Carol Ann



Carol - This is my first time visiting this website and I must say, my first thought was, what a wonderful and rare idea. It makes me so happy that someone is out there giving those older and not-so-healthy dogs - dogs who most people might not bring into their homes - a true chance to live a wonderful life. It must be hard, but please have hope - those dogs look at you and your staff and are always saying "thank you". Thank you for giving me the life and the love that I always deserved. It is a rare person that is willing to do that, and please know that millions of people admire you for what you do.

Carol Ann

oh Carol I am sad too but we have to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and start all over again --voting I mean--the rest well I've always been told you can't help them all but I say we have to help all we can and you do so much more than anyone be proud of what you do cause we are all proud of you. YOU INSPIRE US. :)


I have sent an email to everyone on my email address list asking them to vote everyday. I am starting to get messages back telling me they have posted the request on their Facebook page asking all their friends to vote as well. Can you all do the same? This way we can cast our net wide. I plan on sending a reminder to everyone on a weekly basis.


What a beautiful post Marisa. There is so much power in 6 little words... "Be kind" and "Not because of me"... Wow.

And Carol, hope will rise again. It always does because it simply must... there is no alternative.


now i am jealous..if i could write such simple things so beautifully and eloquently...
beautifully said and written kind and not me...that is pretty easy and it hit inside me in a very good place!


When people say SAINTS has it easy, you have to remember that they are JEALOUS, jealous of what you, Carol, have achieved through gut-wrenching, physically damaging, emotionally tormenting hard work. Yes, you have a great set-up, yes you have great volunteers, yes you have great staff. But WHY do you have all that? Because you had the foresight, guts, grit and determination to put it all in place. You have gathered a wonderful team of volunteers around you because you have created a place they want to be. Lemme tell of THE hardest things in animal rescue is to gather like-minded, caring, generous people around you who don't want anything FROM you or the animals but simply want to help outside of their own egos and needs and wants. You have achieved this. That's freakin' incredible! People keep coming back to SAINTS because they support what you've created and what you stand for. Everything flows from that and, by definition, from you.

As for, "are we getting anywhere"? Here's something I wrote a while ago when I had sunk into the depths of despair. Sorry it's so long but I hope it may help.

"Be Kind". A friend of mine said this during one of our long discussions regarding morals and ethics and how to "be" in the world. He had said very little throughout but these were the two words that escaped. And, at first, it seemed too simplistic, leaving itself open for minute dissection. But, at second, it seemed simply perfect. "Be kind". What better way is there to live? If those two words resounded in the back of everyone's head when they contemplated their actions in the world, I think great change and shifts of perception would occur. Because if you genuinely filter this ethic through your heart, there is little chance of steering wrong. Being kind would leave the rainforests standing, the foxes in the forests, the hungry of the world with food, the despairing with hope and humanity would regain the heart that it lost somewhere along the way...or is it possible we are still looking for it?

I think reopening wounds, remembering, honouring, crying is not unhealthy. I think suffering should not be ignored or passed over for our own comfort. But, I am also returning to myself, to the energies that flow through my veins and recognizing my own power. There need not be impotence because with every small deed I perform or every shallow breath I put out into the world, I have the opportunity to nourish and to be kind.

I rewatched "The Witness" over the holidays. Each time I view it, something different resonates with me and this time it was Eddie Lamas' words about the suffering of farm animals. He spoke about the lack of space, the fetid air, the torture, the suffering but after all this he said, "but not because of see, and that's the difference, it will not be because of me..." And as I sat at my desk thinking about this I grabbed a scrap piece of paper and scrawled NOT BECAUSE OF ME on it and tacked it above my computer so that when I feel overwhelmed, when I feel hopeless I can look up and be reminded that I have tried to make kind choices. And that IS the difference...when each of us chooses to withdraw our support from that which tortures us as surely as it tortures the intended victims. It may seem trite, it may seem "hippie", it may seem simplistic but...I choose kindness. And within that word lies the power to move mountains or (and here is where the greater potency lies)...the courage to leave them right where they are.