it was a good day with good people and good animals...can't ask for much better than that!

bonita went off to her new home with strict instructions that she is to have pizza tonight!
sweetie went home with carol who will love her and care for her pre and post surgery and we will see where sweetie goes in terms of continued good health after we know what the heck that mass is.

we had our brainstorming meeting... in attendence were lucky and wilma, and hootie and jingles and tina fey and daphne and sweetie and lil big bud and suzie...hmmm..did i miss anyone? it is important to have a contingent of animals lest we forget the reason why saints is here.

the animals come only because of the food and the people..they don't give a ratz ass about whatever important things we have to discuss.

from my perspective...it was a very good meeting...not that we accomplished much in terms of future plans. for the next few months we are going to look at our financial possibilities in obtaining more consistent funding...once we have some surity in where we can go..then we look at actually coming up with and working towards new goals.

but despite our lack of concrete planning, the meeting told me a couple of things that i did not know. change is going to be difficult for all of us...not just me because of "founders syndrome" but for everyone here because the bottom line is for those who have invested a great deal of ourselves here over a long period of time...we actually do love saints the way it is now.

now i am not saying we all would not like to see some things different...somethings easier..somethings less busy and back breaking and difficult...but the basic reality of saints and these old, wrecked and sometimes dying animals happily milling around...we really do love being in the midst of them all.

what i found most interesting is...i have known all along that for me, saints is very personal. but it is also very personal for our volunteers..the relationships formed with both humans and animals is also very highly personal. we are in fact a very close knit and caring family.

so here is what we talked about....the blog.

yikes.

it was suggested that the blog is the public face of saints so maybe it should possibly reflect a little more professionally along this line.
there were varying opinions about this...some good points made on either side. my feeling is that as long as i am the primary face at saints...i will continue to write what i like. however..once saints becomes a full group responsibility endeavor..then it will be up to the group to decide.

we briefly talked about the american dogs. right or wrong, those dogs are really important to me. i can't help the millions being dumped dead in shelter garbage barrels..but once or twice a year, saints can help a few absolutely hopeless beyond hope seniors escape those barrels...and so we do what we can.

we talked about what saints would look like..if i wasn't here. no one was really comfortable with that discussion..it made everyone feel a little bit weird. it was like a family deciding how the family would continue if very capable mom decided to hike off to the african bush in the next couple of years.

we talked honestly about how much time or willingness we had to invest in moving saints up to the next level. and most of us just do not have the time..it is a stretch to just do what we currently can. and it also came down to why we are all actually here...we are here because we love cleaning up piss and shit from these wonderful animals and stuffing their faces with pretty much any kind of food. we love getting them wet in the kitchen sink and apparently we love changing my bed every weekend...but we don't necessarily love doing some of the other administrative, policy, procedure and organizational things. it is just not who we are.

there are three things spearing me into figuring this out...the main one is of course the very real fact that i will not always be here. and not only that..the real knowledge that there will reach a time, when in the best interests of saints... i should not be here.

there is also that thing that pops up now and again from the outside...not from within...the accusation of founder syndrome inhibiting the natural growth and progression of saints. it personally bugs me on one hand because it has been used as a poking stick to stir the pot for no real good reason except to stir the pot and cause dissention around here...but it also worries me on a personal level too because i do not want to ever become an actual burden to saints....any more than i ever want to become a burden to my family...no one would want to become that to anyone or anything that they loved.

and the third thing that i am considering is that saints does need to change...we are seriously outgrowing what we can do here..we have a responsibility to figure this out and decide on a plan.

i think the next few years are going to be interesting...this is a totally unfamiliar path for all of us upon which we are treading. but it is an important path if in some way shape or form, we want to continue to be at the forefront of helping senior and special needs animals.

and what i most learned today was this....i truly love the people at saints who are on this journey with me.
you are all such incredibly honest and compassionate people...the best of the very best.

where ever we go from this day forward...we started from a place of such unselfish purity in caring and that is going to take us to somewhere maybe different then where we are now..but it is going to take us to somewhere just as pure and good.

i know this to be 100% real and true.