i feel like there are too many pieces of me getting given away for too many things.
Carol · Mar. 16, 2011
that was a tough work week...and yesterday was frankly simply brutal in the extreme..thank god i am off for a few days.
i am lucky in many ways...i love nursing and i love rescue..most days. but there are days when i hate both of them too. what really sucks is when i hate them at the same time...then i know i am pushing the burnout line.
yesterday i had to turn down an opportunity, sometimes opportunities come at the very wrong time. one of the cultural TV networks wanted to do a 22 minute piece on saints..which is huge. in the past we have gotten a couple of minutes here and there or the national which still was only about 10 minutes. at first i said yes and then i said no...when i saw the planned filming schedule..there was no way i could commit to that right now.
folks probably think getting media coverage is fun and exciting when really it is completely exhausting on so many levels. it is stressful having camera crews here for hours or days on end....there is just so much going on normally that adding to it when the focus shifts from the daily routine of have to do's to getting the film/interviews in the can...it is completely disrupting.
and i am just too tired to take that on right now..i need these 3 days off to catch up on many things. the reporter tried really hard to convince me to change my mind..i think she thought i was saying no because it was cultural tv. she didn't really understand that i was saying no because lately i have already been giving away too many parts of me...i don't have any spare parts right now to invest in 3 or 4 days of filming. the other issue was they wanted to see everything...not just saints but the daily in and outs of rescue. that meant going with me to pounds and shelters, to vet clinics. filming adopters, surrenders and volunteers and staff as we go about our daily rescue living. that is an added stress of not overloading/overwhelming the shelters and clinics which already are busy..it brings into the worry factor of respectful confidentiality issues when maybe people do not want to be filmed while adopting or surrendering or trying to get their volunteer stuff done so they have time for some fun stuff with the animals.
i will tell you something (because i KNOW this..i have accidently had more camera time then some wanna-be actors)...once it becomes about getting the story...it becomes about getting the story and my being tired or someone feeling shy or too busy or cornered takes second place. and i am not strong enough right now to deal with that, i don't have it in me to make it work for everyone...me, the animals, the clinics, the pounds, the staff and volunteers, the camera crew. too many needs to juggle right now...maybe if we had a media/public relations department to dot all of the I's and cross all of the T's. but we don't. we just have tired and seriously menopausal, me.
opportunities are only opportunities if you can step up, grab on and follow thru. if you can't, then let then slip by. there are only so many things i can do in a day and right now i really need these 3 days off to catch up on the stuff already on my plate instead of just piling it higher with more.
saying no is the smart thing to do sometimes...at least it is smart for me.