maude was one of those very few dogs who completely overwhelmed me.
when i picked her up from the pound at 14 yrs old..she not only almost poked out my eye but she very nearly killed us both on the drive home to saints. once she got here, she screamed, she yelled, while rolling around on the floor at the same time..she jumped our fences, was caught having sex with the neighbors chained dog and ate more walls in this house than all of the other dogs combined.
i do believe she ate her very last wall at 17 when i mistakenly left her in my bedroom for 2 minutes longer than she wanted to be.
maude left me only two choices...absolutely adore her or knock off this maniac dog licketty-split.
i adopted her at 16 because i honestly thought she was dying...three years later, she is still leading the god damn saints howling choir at 6 am every morning.
yesterday maude was out and about..i watched her trot up the hill looking like a much younger dog. she decided feeding time was happening now so she headed up to the house. even when her brain was totally gone..maude still managed the critical clarity moments to get what she wanted....to run free as the wind and to eat some canned food.
she was the most amazing girl.
losing her yesterday and not having her here today is terrible for me, and it was also terrible watching her become more and more lost in her own familiar world. maude always knew exactly what she wanted at every single moment and she made sure she always got it too. suddenly at nineteen years old, walking or standing still even, totally confused her.
i don't regret one single second of loving this incredible dog, and i don't regret letting her go yesterday either because i know it was the right thing for her to do.
what i do regret is the loss of all of the laughter, the joy, the absolute light that she brought into my life. that kind of loss is so hard to bear...it is irreplaceable. for the past 5 years maude has completely overwhelmed me with happiness every single day...i woke up to silence this morning.