last night was a bit frantic with suzie in psycho ear cleaning mode..but daphne and chica patiently bore the brunt of it til suzie wore herself out and slept. the three of them were curled up together surrounding my neck and my chest..at least for most of the night.
i don't know what the hell was up with al but he is lucky i was too deep asleep to wake up and kill him last night. but twice i came up to the almost, but not quite, awake surface to feel that beast literally pushing in the middle of my back as hard as he could with his butt to make more room for him. are you kidding me al? you are trying to sneak in pushing me to the edge of the bed so you are more comfortable???
laura said last night.."i wonder what they must be thinking when they suddenly find themselves here?"
i think on the whole, they go "holy shit man...where the hell am i?...and what do i do now i am here?"
coming to saints for most is like getting dropped on another planet...there are more than 100 animals and people to try to figure out. to a little apartment cat or dog...or an all alone back yard dog or street cat...it's a lot to take in.
and i work hard to first get them to like me and second to get them to love me and that means i have to move from liking to loving them really damn quick too...i want them to be happy. pretty much anyone can find happiness if they feel loved and truly special. the problem of course arises when trying to move some of them on. never underestimate the deep family attachments they have made here...not just with me but with other animals, other people, even saints odd cookie and barn routines. most of them long ago decided that this IS their home....losing it is upsetting to some...especially if they have been here for several years.
larry was a good example...and now pixie-pop...both of these dogs were not happy to be move onwards...both of them wanted to come home. what ever...we make permanent sanctuary animals for one reason only...saints is their home and they don't want to leave here. for andy this has little to do with me altho he likes and trusts me as much as he can..it is because he understands here, he is comfortable and safe in our routines. for squirt, quite simply, saints, the staff, volunteers, myself and his animal buddies... gives him everything he wants or he needs.
chica will be fine with either laura's or here. she is more accepting and flexible. and as long as she feels loved and precious she will do well in either place. suzie is a different story and i think i may know the reason for this.
i think suzie has always been a little pain in the ass dog..i think it is just her nature. and i think she spent the majority of her life getting into shit because of this. she was a total snarling hag when she arrived here after losing her home due to peeing in the house and biting the grandkids. and how did i react to the snarling little beast? i laughed and immediately fell in love with her. suzie the landshark in every single thing about her.... made me really happy...and don't try to tell me that she didn't notice this.
can you imagine the freedom of suddenly being adored for all of the things that got you constantly into big trouble before? it must be wonderful (sigh..i wish i could find that kind of freedom to just be me all the time too!)
so suzie is not happy that we are messing around with her world. this world did not have to be perfect for her but because it basically suited her..she is not too keen to lose it. and she has her very good friends here who patiently tolerate her OCD things...squirt, chica, daphne, (rip larry) and me. she has her barn time and all of her friends out there...she has pretty much 24/7 continuous, never alone for long, loving suzie care. she has 10 pounds of personal power which here translates into a thousand pounds or more...the doozie dog is one of the big bosses who runs the whole show.
today i am wondering what goes thru her rock hard little tennis ball head when we suddenly put her into a normal but currently strange to her, new home?
these guys are and always will be victims of humans making decisions that turn their world upside down. some of the decsions were in the past made without any consideration of them. and while now we make decisions based on what we think is ultimately the best for them...they still are victims of human decisions cuz they have to go along and adjust to what we decide for them.
it would be much easier if we could just say..."those of you who want a new great home..please raise your paw."..then we would know for sure what we were looking for.
but since that ain't going to ever happen..we really don't have much choice. so we pulled suzie back here and we will try this again...but slower, and easier so she has a chance to get used to living elsewhere and then we let her finally decide.
one of these days she will clearly say...no..i don't want to go home with you laura...or she will say..laura..i really don't want to go back to saints any more please.
and in the mean time laura and i will do what we have to so she can make the choice that she really needs.
you just gotta love pain in the ass dogs...nothing is ever simple or easy.