Rescue Journal

the rescue fights.

Carol  ·  May 10, 2011

there are times in rescue when you absolutely just have to win. you don't back down, you don't throw up you hands, you don't give up for any reason...ever.
you fight these fights to the very end because if you don't someone is going to get unfairly and unnecessarily hurt.

these would be the fights like for jerry...caving to bullying would have sent jerry back into neglect and uncertainty....back into emotional and physical pain... that wasn't ever going to happen to him again.
or those politically nasty, bordering on lunacy fights where the wellbeing of all of saints is don't walk away and passively let toxic waste just spread..if saints goes down...all of the animals here will get hurt. and then there are fights for who is with phoebe..there is no way, that red whirling maniac is ever going to win...letting her be the big boss here is just totally insane.

but there are fights that just shouldn't happen because the fall out isn't worth the win. these would be the fights when i on purpose back off....i remember taking on the fight to save betsy's life too far...i lost anyway but betsy suffered to win. i am not sure yet about herman, i am waiting for the post mortem report to tell me if i fought too little or too much for him.
pops we are struggling we keep fighting or do we stop and call it quits? but the thoughts surrounding pops are so big, so tangled, so interconnected...he is a whole giant post to write it all out..maybe i will do that later.
there are times i say just stop, now...... because the animal is getting too upset and it is not worth pushing them over the edge to get something done. and there are other times when i make us all follow thru no matter what cuz if we don't the loss will actually hurt them more...this would be like the fight to save yoshi's eye. which by the way i had a good look at last night and i think while it it is healing well...has actually lost the vision now anyway. i will get him back into the vets again...if he is blind in that last eye and the ulcer ever comes back again...we might as well take it out and be done with this fight with him forever.

rescue is full of fights every day...some make total sense...some make no sense at all. some fights are against unnecessary death, some are about the animals wellbeing or safety. some are about people or ideals or beliefs, some are about just trying to survive.

there are so many battles to be fought in can find one somewhere every day. the trick is to engage in only the battles that need to be won and to let the other side win "the ok to lose" once in awhile...cuz not all battles should be fought, not all battles can be or need to be or should be won..i just have a hard time sometimes differentiating between the two.

sigh...thinking hard about our pops today.



That kind of responsibility is a heavy burden to carry but I do know the decision made will be the right one, for everyone. Either way, I do know that Pops finally found love and companionship at "a little piece of heaven" in Mission called Saints.

Nicole N

Oh Carol... I don't envy you having to decide when is it too far. I love that horse. He is the first horse I have had a chance to get to know in my whole life. He is the kindest, gentlest, most loving horse and I had no idea they could be that way. He knows what you are saying to him and he listens, and nuzzles you and lets you wrap your arms around his neck and hug the shit out of him. But it also breaks my heart so much to see how much pain he is in and then I wonder if we are being selfish keeping him going. And just when I think we are selfish, I come in on a Saturday or Sunday and see how happy he looks. Whatever decision you make I know it will come from your heart, but I don't envy you at all.