How I Became a Loser...
It's funny how your life can change in the blink of an eye. I used to think I was cool. Now a few days later everyone in the whole entire world thinks I am a GIGANTIC LOSER.
All I did was go into Vancouver with my friends to enjoy the street hockey parties. It was supposed to be fun. The next thing I know, I am not only in the middle of a riot, but I was an active part of the rioting crowd. I just joined in and got swept along, it was fun, it was exciting.
And suddenly, in just a few hours I became a loser to the entire planet. Even the terrorist groups thought we were lame, stupid and spoiled baby brats burning shit up for no reason at all except for the loss of a hockey game. I don't really know how it all got so out of hand and why I went so crazy with the crowd.
And there is no one I can talk to about this either right now because everyone who was there is pretending they weren't and everyone else in the world thinks we are all LOSERS.
At breakfast the next morning my mom said to me.."honey, you were not part of those losers going crazy downtown last night were you?
"No Ma, I wasn't anywhere near there."
"Well that's good dear because I couldn't have ever held my head up again if you were. I heard Johnny Smith was down there and his mother hasn't stopped crying yet from the embrassment of raising such a loser."
My Uncle Jack stopped by after lunch and I heard him talking to my dad..."did you see those freak show losers on TV last night?"
My dad said he did and he was glad no son of his was an idiot loser like those guys were.
I decided the only safe place that I could go was to confession and unburden my soul. When I was finished telling the priest about what I had done..there was silence on the other side of the confessional wall.
I asked the priest if he was going to give me Hail Mary's to cleanse my soul and put me right with God. He said no there was no point because God thought I was a loser too.
I used to be cool and then one night, I became a UNIVERSAL HEAVEN AND EARTH LOSER.
Being this BIG of a LOSER is so not cool.
I am remembering an incident I was involved in in my youth , I won't go into details , but during this incident I had a sense of excitement as well as a nagging feeling that I knew this was wrong, I allowed the excitement to silence the nagging & followed the group.
The next day...that nagging feeling wasn't nagging anymore it was a ROAR that vibrated through my entire body, I was ashamed, mortified, I felt wrong in my own skin for days. That was a moment that helped shape me, never again did I participate in any activity that gave me the slightest nagging feeling. If I was out with friends & it looked like things may head in the wrong direction, I left .
I have a great deal of empathy for anyone who was perhaps just like me back then and simply did just get caught up..but those people should come forward, beg forgiveness & make restitution. If they don't they may find they will carry this event for the rest of their lives
If Dr K's son fits into this category ...it is such a shame that this one thing has cost him was it is costing him... if his backpack was filled with Molotov cocktails, my sympathies lie with his parents