i need to just shut up...i sound like nothing is ever good enough..and i hate being like that.

with the open house behind us, there is still lots for me to get done on my final holiday week....personally..i have to get around to cleaning my car and getting the snow tires off! i still have to make a decision on who to hire and then set up a training schedule for him or her, there are still vet runs for the new guys and follow ups for our old guys that need to be done, the new cat cash has to be brought home, set up and settled in, maestro and sage need to be moved out of the medical room and set up in a quieter pen of their own, i wanted to work on the memory rocks for the memorial garden...and i guess i better find and hang the windchimes for the recently lost...and i really do need to rest my knee so i can go back to work next week pain free.

a calm, crises-free, full staffed week would really help me this week!

i am trying to decide what to do about meanie-sweetie...she is so lonely over in the office. but it is so nice having the kitchen/computer rooms opened up with no worries about trigger happy, rampaging dogs. too bad that cherry-pit is quite attached to her spot in the laundry room...that would have been a decent compromise for a bitchy little problematic dog.

our dog numbers are finally going down again...4 deaths and three adoptions make a huge difference here. but we are still closed to all admissions...i want the numbers down further plus i am still not really happy with the personalities mix. the can be difficult or tricky with other animal ones like mini-pearl, bambi 2, phoebe, noelle, jesse, jelly, and sweetie are spread out thru out the place and have to be monitered and everyone kept safe. and i don't know if folks know this or not...but it takes a full three months minimum to stabilize the group when new dogs come in...lately we have had so many new admissions that the group really hasn't hit that point again in a very long time. i would like to give them all a chance to just chill and settle change-free for awhile.

plus i am so damned tired of being stressed over vet and other bills...each new incoming just adds to the growing pile of bills (i shudder to think what the new cat cash's total will be..but i will tell you later today when she finally comes home!). and while it was so great to get over $4000 in donations this weekend..lets be honest here...we owe about $17,000 in vet bills...the staff have to be paid every week, the year end accounting fee is going to cost about $3000, and the Reciever General needs to be paid, the canned and specialty and barn foods every week still cost about $2500 per month too and with the postal strike, mail in donations are not getting thru...not that there will be a lot this time of year anyway.

and really more than anything...i am so tired of whining continually about money..it makes everyone around us feel as stressed and badly too...why is it the biggest and most difficult reality in all rescues?

i want to somehow reach that safe place where we can actually afford what our hearts and hands do....honestly...where are the donald trumps when you need them??? i wish one of them liked what we do. in the mean time...maybe we could all promote maggie's 1000 saints program..even if we can partially get there, it would be a huge help.

ok...enough getting myself all down in the dumps here...we have $4500 dollars more than we had on friday and that is so VERY GOOD....at least we actually have some money to juggle with, and i am learning to be a decent juggler out of necessity too.