i haven't been to work in almost three weeks. this morning i had a surprise. as i opened my sterile dressing set to do my first dressing change with my first wound care client early this morning....i had this wonderful right feeling...ah, yes! i truly missed this.
it was a busy day...no lunch break, and a last minute unscheduled visit right at the end of my shift...and honestly...i enjoyed every second of it.
doing my job in the outside world is sometimes as difficult as it is at saints...illness, pain, uncertainty, fear, anxiety, the realization of impending death is difficult for not just anyone...but for everyone and it is part of life.
i was thinking today about palliative patients and how overwhelming and frightening being told their life for real now has an actual expirary date. we all know in our heads that our lives are not forever...but we don't actually really believe it...not until some doctor tells us so.
but i was also thinking that honestly...none of us ever know when our time will end...it could be a car crash tomorrow or an accidental drowning on friday, or a massive earthquake next week. shit i could get out of this chair five minutes from now and suffer a fatal heart attack.
the only thing we can count on for sure...the only guarantee that we ever have is this one absolute moment of living and breathing that we are experiencing right now. and i think maybe this is a gift to us...this one precious moment of guaranteed now.
it was a good day at work...and i am glad to be home (my ancient and leaky friends are glad i am home too!)...i am blessed with a precious life in so many ways that i truly love....especially in this moment, today.