the dogs may well love me because there is no one else around here every single day of the week...i might be loved by default. sometimes i know they love someone more than me..like mo and cole or phoebe and tammy or ko and jelly or renee and jesse or daphne and jenn. it is ok..i am a practical and realistic person..i can handle that.
tonight i am thinking about ellie..who as everyone knows... i deeply love. i adore that pink princess. the first thing that enters my mind as soon as i see her is...i really love you....every single time i set my eyes on her, that thought pops up.
and does ellie love me back?..hah! honestly i haven't a clue..whenever i spend some time with her, all i can see is her peering at me consideringly with the one eye facing me as she looks at me.
what if she doesn't love me? could a pig even love a human? maybe pigs only really love pigs.
anyway..my point is this..i don't think love has to be reciprocated. you can love something or someone just because. you can love the music of bach or brahms or the poetry of frost..you can love your home or the sunrise or sunset or the full moon or stars in the night sky. you can love your job or painting a picture..you can love pretty much anything and anyone... and you might not get love back.
i would prefer to love ellie knowing she may not love me back. that way i don't wrap her up in some kind of unreal, weird, one sided fantasy that pretends she feels the same about me too. i really don't know what she thinks about or how she feels inside...i just know that when i am with her..i feel blessed and so very lucky to have her in my life.
i enjoyed barn bedtime tonight, everyone was cooperative, everyone was good, everyone was truly beautiful. and maybe i shouldn't love a pig extra specially, but honestly i do.