but i think i might feel a bit less like shit then i did yesterday...i am trying to decide.
i am so worried about monty..i am so afraid i might have to euthanize. we have done 3 different surgeries, all of his teeth are gone. we have done the steriods, the long term antibiotics with zithrowmax and now we are trying convenia injections every two weeks and daily pain meds and anti-inflammatories. he still has intermittent daily bouts many times a day of unbearable pain. he is fine inbetween the attacks but he is losing weight because he is afraid to eat.
i had a brain storm last week and asked the vet if maybe ongoing cartophen injections would help..he didn't think so, he said we would probably be just tossing out more money without any result. i have finally realized that we are now at that no longer ignorable crossroads...either we find some way to successfully manage his mouth or we put him down. we are at the end of the road of options, there is little else left to try.
i briefly saw the vet yesterday for discharge orders on kristy and i said i know it is probably a waste of time and money, but could we try the cartrophen injections as the very last resort. if i am going to have to make the decision to end monty's young life (he is only about 6) i want to know that i grasped at every straw before i take his life. even tho it is not what cartrophen is made for, our vet is willing to give it a shot.
i have a very special bond of responsibility towards monty. when i left my home and family and began the journey to saints...i saw a young and half grown monty hanging out in the backyard one day. i told my ex that i had seen a young possibly stray cat out in the yard...he said he thought the cat belonged to a neighbor. three years later my daughter calls and tells me there is a beat up, sketchy and thin street cat coming around to the yard that she was trying to befriend. i took a trap over and saw it was the same cat i had seen several years before. it took several weeks before she was able to catch him and get him into the vets for me and when monty was finally neutered, he also tested positive for FIV.
lindsey called him "mycat" and i changed his name to "monty." and i have always felt so guilty that for three long unnecessary years he lived all alone on the streets and backyards of my previous home. i should have just grabbed him the first time i saw him.
his mouth has been an ongoing problem for over 2 years now..it is part of the things that can happen with FIV's altho it happens with non effected cats like marvin as well.
monty is a great cat...and he deserved a life loved and cared for and protected from the moment of his birth. but that didn't happen for him...from his youth until today...his life has been difficult.
spay and neuter all cats, keep them inside where they are safe from being lost, alone and afraid. and don't make them live an unnneccessary difficult life by conveniently turning away.
i love you monty...please god let the cartrophen be the unlikely miracle that we both so desperately crave.