responsibility

i think the biggest challenge in rescue is meeting the animals emotional needs. it is a 24/7/365+ day/night job.

the new guys are ok....abbey is quiet and withdrawn and i know damn well that if i let her outside without her harnass and leash on... she is going to find a way to take off. this is the problem with border collies...they are far too smart and can actually make escape plans to implement as soon as the first chance arises. and while i accept i am perfectly incapable of outsmarting a determined border collie in escape mode..i just play dumb with a simple and infallible trick...lock them in the house, feed them bologna and ice cream sandwiches for however long it takes for them to forget they were actually planning to leave.

buddy is good as long as i am in the room...as soon as i leave him he starts to drool with great long strings hanging down from his lips. he is so very thin...his skull is just barely covered with stretched skin and fur...it makes me sad. he really is a super nice dog but right now he wants a ton of emotional reassurence. i give him some, but i don't want to cripple him. he is a good dog, he is a smart dog, he will be fine when he remembers he is full of shining good dog power...he has just lost sight of it for a bit.

benny had a rough day today..he spent too much time with carly and got upset again when she left. tonight he seems a little bit down so he is getting a bit more ice cream and bologna then is really good for his weight loss program. i hate to see him sad. how do you explain to a good and loyal dog that that life ended forever 2 years ago and you can't go back and re-make the past? i guess since we as humans have trouble with this concept, it is not surprising a dog has trouble grasping it too.

this reminds me that when my kids were teenagers...i taught them the yo-yo rule. do not make a life altering decision (like breaking up with your boyfriend, or divorcing your husband or quitting your job, or euthanizing or getting rid of the currently inconvenient family pet) unless you are fully prepared to move on forever with the consequences and follow the decision thru. you absolutely cannot ever go back and do regrettable things over again..on and off... over and over again..if it is over, it is over, accept it and move on..if it is worth working on and figuring it out then go for it and make it happen...but you cannot have it both ways back and forth..you just get stuck in limbo land.
i wanted to teach my kids to think before they acted because once you do something it can't be undone so make sure it is the right thing now and forever.

the yo-yo rule makes you be responsible for the decisions you make so you really want to take the time to think things thru. i think it is a good rule to teach kids...mine are all super responsible adults..not a single flighty or fickle brain cell between them...which is great for me cuz when i get old and decrepit, they will all effectively be there for me.
raise your kids to be super responsible and they will feel morally obligated to look after you when you are sick and old!

it was one of my more brilliant plans.

update on abbey... she just tried to bite me on my face but thankfully i pulled away quick and she missed. this was totally my own fault...especially cuz i also read in her vet notes that she snapped twice at the vet in pain response so i knew she could be reactive when she felt threatened.
anyway... i accidently rolled back in my computer chair and scared her. i leaned over and said i was so sorry and kissed her head and she leapt up and snapped to tell me she was totally stressed so back off and fuck off. sorry abbey, my mistake i was disrespectful with your personal space.
sigh...i should have known better too...this dog is not going to be a warm and fuzzy pushover, she is going to make me work for her.