i think if i were to say the thing i hate most about rescue...it is the vulnerable position i put myself in terms of meeting the needs and the expectations of many different people. if i was a normal person working 9-5, coming home to a private life of watching tv, maybe going for a hike, taking out my garbage and plucking my eyebrows...no one is pretty much going to give a shit about anything i happen to normally do.
but as soon as i got into rescue all of that changed. people now think they know what i am supposd to think, how i am supposed to act, what i am supposed to say, what i should feel and what i should or should not do. and it is universal..it is not just the detractors or the people who don't like me...it is everyone...even those who really like and respect me.
there is not a single staff or volunteer here that will not tell you that they don't always agree with me...or even that they don't always like me. it is a given....take the work that we do...and that i happen to be the person responsible and 1+1=2. and 2 being that it is my ass and my back on the line to differing opinions and judgements.
it is not a fun place to be. i know most people innocently think this is about carol the angel or carol the saint but honestly it is really more about carol the crazy, carol the not friendly, carol the bitch, carol the not doing this the way someone else happens to think.
i know everyone is of the opinion that their way of doing things is infinitely better, saner, more efficient, more caring and if i just did things the way they want me to...everything would be so much easier and better.
and do you know how many differing opinions there are on every single aspect of here...from how many animals...to which kind of animals...to what is placed or not placed under the food and water bowls, to where each bed or bowl should live and how many fleeces or blankets should be in each bed?
if all of the decisions were left to someone else...things would be far different here...yes there would be less animals but which animals actually would be here?
depending on people's personal preferences and natural animal bonds..i highly doubt we would have rabbits, chickens or cows...we might have far fewer or far more cats or more or less big or small dogs and i know we wouldn't have budgies or a turkey....and probably not any sheep...simply because most people don't even think they exist in the real animals deserving or needing rescue heirachy.
and here is the crux of it all...i don't always make the best decisions and i don't always do everything perfectly right...most of the time i do try to do too much and sometimes i simply don't do enough.
so i know a good portion (but not all) of those opinions and judgements floating around me on any given day have value and are worthy of consideration but i can't be all things to all people..i can't exactly meet the hundreds of differing and unique expectations and beliefs that each person has on what saints is...who saints helps, how saints does it every single day.
it is mission impossible, the battle is lost before it even began....all i can do is the best for each of the animals as i possibly can.