doris was euthanized today.
in discussion with the vet, we both felt that given her age, her isolated personality, her blindness, her deafness, her constant skin and eye issues...it just wasn't fair to add an eye removal on top of all of the daily challenges that she faced. once she was sedated, we also found a large and new mammary tumour...and that discovery cemented it for me that it was in doris's best interests to finally be free.
part of me is glad that she is now somewhere free from discomfort, somewhere quiet and peaceful where she will no longer have to deal with the burdens of life.
the other part of me is so very sad that i was never ever able to bring true joyfulness into her life. i never saw her joyfully happy and i am so sorry for that...i just could never seem to find her key.
i love you doris, rest well now in peace. i don't know if i helped or hindered you here, but if our best was not what was right for you, please forgive me.