same headache, same sore back...and same worries clogging my brain.
it totally sucks.
if i could have one wish..it would be to pick up saints and move it to a bigger and better property and turn over the running of it all to someone(s) smarter and more capable.
i really believe that saints could grow much bigger, go much further, make far greater impacts if we just took it one step past the grass roots, home based rescue we currently have and move it into a bigger arena...and i am honestly too limited in my actual abilities to accomplish that.
i am not saying we haven't done well here because honestly we have. we are pretty well known, we are well respected, and we are very effective in doing what we do. but...what i have learned over these past years is...the actual need for senior and special needs rescue is freaking huge, much bigger and far reaching than can be effectively managed by just individuals or small grass roots groups.
and see..this is where i get into trouble when i am in worrying mode. i can't just concentrate on the actual things that are worrying me..like money/bills, staffing levels, animal numbers/care needs and rat population control...no, i have to stick my head up and look for more..like much needed future sustainable growth.
how many things do i need to worry about without going out looking for more?
i keep telling myself...just concentrate on one thing at a time and get it well done and then look to the next. but i don't take advice very well...even from myself.
when KO and i were cleaning the barn yesterday, i said...really over the years, we have done a pretty good job. we have helped so many and continue to do so but unless we find a way to take the next step..it will eventually end. we are all getting older, and each year i am personally getting broker..my credit card is max'd, i just cashed my very last savings bond to get us thru the next couple of weeks and i don't mind cuz it was just sitting there doing nothing anyway..... except, i am no longer financially viable as our emergency back up plan...and that scares me.
if one of the animals needed to go into the emergency clinic in the middle of the night...i couldn't take them because i can't pay their bill up front...and that is a big problem for them and for us. so i sit here and hope that no one has a freaking midnight crises until we get some money back in the bank.
i let us get too big. i stretched us too far. i let us help too many animals and the scary part is...i don't regret a single one.
and that is why i need someone(s) smarter and more capable (and with a better sense of direction!) to take over so i can get out cuz at this cross roads of our particular rescue world... i am not smart or capable enough for us now. i don't know if we should just stop and stay where we are...or...go forwards, go backwards or turn right or left?
i am just stumped....cross roads also suck.