i am laying on the bed with the bed buddies who are going nutz with a bunch of new and exciting toys, watching channel 40's current run of sappy movies, and suddenly i smell shit. i turn on the light... i look all around me...no shit in sight..i get up, look all around the floor..not a pile to be seen and then i realize i don't smell it anymore. maybe fat boy joey who farts regularly let loose in his playing frenzy. i lay back down and turn off the light and a few minutes later the smell is back again. i turn the light back on, look under and even turn daphne upside down in case she is hiding something accidental and look all around again...nothing.
man i must be poop paranoid crazy! i settle back down and a few minutes later the smell is overwhelming back again...i kick all of the dogs off the bed and i toss all of the toys, pull off all of the blankets and move all of the pillows...the bed is completely poop free. one by one they all come back with their toys and start playing again and suddenly the smell disgustingly wafts right by my head...
FERGUS!!!!!
mr. poop ball butt was busted. i couldn't find the source because of course! the freaking poop smell source just kept hyperactively moving up and down, here and there, to and fro and everywhere!!!
anyway..i grabbed the little shit out of luck, spastic, toy playing, poopy butt, hyperactive, one-eyed freak and tossed him in the kitchen sink and shampoo'd and hosed him down.
i am relieved to report that i am not a paranoid imaginary pooh smelling freak and fergus is happily back motoring around with various toys in his mouth in hyperactive high speed glee.... minus the poopy ass.
sometimes living even marginally pleasantly around here means one must be a determined dirty detective.... sort of like... shitluck holmes.