Rescue Journal

tonight i can't say thank you enough...

Carol  ·  Apr. 19, 2012

i am truly grateful and relieved that this recent conflict is now settled. and i really want to thank everyone and anyone regardless of which side... who in whatever capacity, worked towards a solution for us.

there are a lot of animals here and they need to be our primary focus..not just so they have all of our attention and energy but also so they can feel safe within our own personal peace. i talk quite a bit about positive energy and it is because i believe that animals feel safer and more content when those are the same feelings they read from us.
people often say to me..you are always so calm and collected about everything. well we all know from this blog, that this is not always true..but luckily the animals don't read the blog so mostly i can fool them. lets face it tho... i am better at projecting calmness, when i really do feel calm and settled inside...and i think and react better when i am not all tied up in worrisome stress knots.

i live on a property with over one hundred elderly, sick, sometimes dying, sometimes asshole, special needs animals..i can't afford to be loud..i can't afford to panic.... i can't afford to rush around like a mad woman...everything that i do, every movement i make has to be considered, measured and wrapped in at least a somewhat believable package of everything is A-OK.

can you imagine if i let my fears, my frustrations, my anxiety i sometimes feel around here loose? it would upset all of the animals because if i don't feel safe and ok, then neither can they.

esther is not well tonight. i was watching tv with the bed buddies when i heard her quiet, but frantic few barks. she was again spayed out on the floor in a puddle of urine and feces and not able to get up. she was vulnerable and afraid. i quietly told her she was alright, grabbed a towel to slip under her belly and helped her up to her feet. i supported her until she felt bit more steady and then cleaned her up while cheerfully chatting with her about nothing. i helped her take a few steps until she felt she was ok on her own and then while she had something to eat and drink, i cleaned up the mess on the floor.
by the time we were both done..esther felt that she was ok again. she went outside to do some more personal business and then toddled back in and went to bed.

it is absolutely critical for animals to live surrounded by harmony and peace..they easily can read our body language, they are highly receptive to the positive or negative energy we continually release.

this past month has been really difficult for me..not just because it was happening but because it was overwhelming me...i am out of my element when dealing with these kind of things.

i am pretty damn lucky that i can quietly sit in this chair and use my two typing fingers to fuss and fret. but even so..i am even more lucky when i feel ok and things are safe and predictable because then i don't have to fake it with the animals til i make it...i am already safely there and they know.

it is not just the animals who need to feel safe and confident in the rightness of their world....the humans who care for them need to be able to feel that way too.
so again...one last time..thank you everyone for helping to restore the balance in our world...esther appreciated that tonight..she is snoring away in her bed, feeling all is well.

Comments

Colin

Ester so reminds me of Sam,she sounds so dignified and strong and no doubt hates her situation. She is so very lucky to have you. xo

Carol

i don't think it was personal shelley.. and maybe that was part of the problem, it wasn't personal to them but it was highly personal to all of us.
hah! it is like i said to you yesterday..it is a really bad idea to piss off mama bears protecting their cubs.

all of us are protective mama bears to the somewhat messed up sainted cubs.

Shelley

I will never forgive ADT and Admiral Security for the stress and emotional upheaval they caused to you and to SAINTS.

elaine erickson

I am sooooo happy that things have been reconciled for you .Too bad that for all the stress they put you through they didnt double the refund but I guess that would e asking too much.I so love this Blog scince I am so far away its nice to hear the news of all the kids there good or bad I love it keep up the good work Carol and the rest of the angels we love you guys you are the best.