let me tell you something really important to learn in rescue...
Carol · Jul. 23, 2012
actions speak louder than words.
i could sit on this freaking website and tell you all how wonderful, how caring, how dedicated, i am to these animals. and if you come here and you find these animals living in filth, sick without medical treatment, hungry or thirsty or shut up in cages that they never get out of, alone and forgotten or in any kind of distress whatsoever...then i am lying to you and if i think they are really ok like that...then i am probably lying to myself too.
every fucking person who dumps an animal here, gives me the song and dance about how much they love them, the extremes they have gone to for them, the absolutely wonderful home they have provided, the sacrifices they have made to do this for them..and before me what i often times see, despite their heroics, is a neglected animal. i quit listening to the bullshit tales years ago....i don't give a shit what folks say they do..i care about what the evidence shows. there is always some excuse why muffy's teeth are rotting right out of her head, or why rover is scabbed up and hairless and systemically infected, or why spot is so skinny he looks half dead, or why blackie's ears are glued with pus to her head.
i sometimes miss shit with the animals here...but i don't make any excuses...bottom line is always...i missed it and i feel really badly.
for 20 years i have heard the excuses that are meant to get humans off the responsibility hook and all i see is either you can look after them well and you did or you can't and you didn't. i don't know why folks can't just admit at least to themselves that they screwed up and think about how they could have done it better so they don't continue make the same mistakes over and over. it's not that hard...i do it all of the time! but...that is the problem with excuses..the goal is to absolve someone of the responsibility so they don't have to try to improve. well i don't want to stay permanently stupid..i want to get better at what i do.
folks like and respect me just fine as long as i do what they want..but man when my foot comes down and i draw the line...suddenly i am not nice or fair...i am messing up a perfectly good fairy tale for someone.
i find it unfair and disrespectful when folks try to push me into a compromised corner because they think that they know better. don't ask me to do something that i think is wrong..don't ask me to bend and risk the wellbeing of one of the animals. friendships and relationships come in a far second place around here..my job is not to be popular polly. my job is to make sure to the very best of my ability, that i have done right by the animals...not just be morally or ethically lazy cuz it is more pleasantly nice.
it is a great big world out there, filled with more millions of needy animals than i will ever be able to help...anyone is free to step up, go find some and do it better than me...but please don't sit here and second guess me..trust me, with all of my experience, with all of my accumulated knowledge...i do that pretty well for myself.
it has been three times this week with three different animals that i have felt pressured to move them to places that i don't want them to go. i don't shoot animals out the door on a wish or for want of a fairy tale..i want to KNOW that they are in the RIGHT home. don't ask me to settle for less because i won't do that any more, when i get it wrong, the animals suffer. i rescued them once and if i have to rescue them again then i did not do my job.
the world is full of really nice people...so what? nice doesn't mean a good match...look what happened to holly..nice did not stop her from coming back. i made a big mistake cuz i was looking for a pipe dream and i thought i heard it becuae i wanted to hear it. but the reality was... it was a very poor match.
i will try really hard not to do it again to any of the others and i would appreciate some trust and support while i try to do this. the day someone else is standing is my shoes, they can carry the full responsibilty for the decisions made..but right now it is my feet pinched in those not so comfortable shoes...try not to make it even harder for me if you can.
ok ranting is done for today...sorry...maybe i am getting tired, i am feeling frustrated by stuff more than usual i think.
Thank you Carol...for seeing that I am the best caregiver for him. I will never speak of finding him a "better home" again.
Not second guessing you, more like second guessing myself.
Papa John and Miss Trudy are truly a blessing. Actually all of the fosters I have had the joy of caring for have been a blessing. I am truly one lucky lady :)