Rescue Journal

let me tell you something really important to learn in rescue...

Carol · Jul. 23, 2012

actions speak louder than words.

i could sit on this freaking website and tell you all how wonderful, how caring, how dedicated, i am to these animals. and if you come here and you find these animals living in filth, sick without medical treatment, hungry or thirsty or shut up in cages that they never get out of, alone and forgotten or in any kind of distress whatsoever...then i am lying to you and if i think they are really ok like that...then i am probably lying to myself too.

every fucking person who dumps an animal here, gives me the song and dance about how much they love them, the extremes they have gone to for them, the absolutely wonderful home they have provided, the sacrifices they have made to do this for them..and before me what i often times see, despite their heroics, is a neglected animal. i quit listening to the bullshit tales years ago....i don't give a shit what folks say they do..i care about what the evidence shows. there is always some excuse why muffy's teeth are rotting right out of her head, or why rover is scabbed up and hairless and systemically infected, or why spot is so skinny he looks half dead, or why blackie's ears are glued with pus to her head.

i sometimes miss shit with the animals here...but i don't make any excuses...bottom line is always...i missed it and i feel really badly.

for 20 years i have heard the excuses that are meant to get humans off the responsibility hook and all i see is either you can look after them well and you did or you can't and you didn't. i don't know why folks can't just admit at least to themselves that they screwed up and think about how they could have done it better so they don't continue make the same mistakes over and over. it's not that hard...i do it all of the time! but...that is the problem with excuses..the goal is to absolve someone of the responsibility so they don't have to try to improve. well i don't want to stay permanently stupid..i want to get better at what i do.

folks like and respect me just fine as long as i do what they want..but man when my foot comes down and i draw the line...suddenly i am not nice or fair...i am messing up a perfectly good fairy tale for someone.

i find it unfair and disrespectful when folks try to push me into a compromised corner because they think that they know better. don't ask me to do something that i think is wrong..don't ask me to bend and risk the wellbeing of one of the animals. friendships and relationships come in a far second place around here..my job is not to be popular polly. my job is to make sure to the very best of my ability, that i have done right by the animals...not just be morally or ethically lazy cuz it is more pleasantly nice.

it is a great big world out there, filled with more millions of needy animals than i will ever be able to help...anyone is free to step up, go find some and do it better than me...but please don't sit here and second guess me..trust me, with all of my experience, with all of my accumulated knowledge...i do that pretty well for myself.

it has been three times this week with three different animals that i have felt pressured to move them to places that i don't want them to go. i don't shoot animals out the door on a wish or for want of a fairy tale..i want to KNOW that they are in the RIGHT home. don't ask me to settle for less because i won't do that any more, when i get it wrong, the animals suffer. i rescued them once and if i have to rescue them again then i did not do my job.

the world is full of really nice people...so what? nice doesn't mean a good match...look what happened to holly..nice did not stop her from coming back. i made a big mistake cuz i was looking for a pipe dream and i thought i heard it becuae i wanted to hear it. but the reality was... it was a very poor match.

i will try really hard not to do it again to any of the others and i would appreciate some trust and support while i try to do this. the day someone else is standing is my shoes, they can carry the full responsibilty for the decisions made..but right now it is my feet pinched in those not so comfortable shoes...try not to make it even harder for me if you can.

ok ranting is done for today...sorry...maybe i am getting tired, i am feeling frustrated by stuff more than usual i think.

Comments

dawn

Thank you Carol...for seeing that I am the best caregiver for him. I will never speak of finding him a "better home" again.

Not second guessing you, more like second guessing myself.

Papa John and Miss Trudy are truly a blessing. Actually all of the fosters I have had the joy of caring for have been a blessing. I am truly one lucky lady :)

Carol

in some respects lisa we are jaded and bitter but it is because we truly are devoted to the animals needs first and foremost and we have learned that things are not always as happily perfect and easy as they seem.

Carol

you don't suck dawn..you just freaked me out when you second guessed why i let you take papa john and if he could find even more... somewhere else. the real problem is.... that papa john is one of those dogs who everyone wants when they meet him so you thought maybe there was somewhere even better for him.
But......with you was where i knew he was safe and i wouldn't have to worry about him ever again..neither papa john nor i were actually looking for anything better...we were both happy with what he had already found.

Lisa

Another side of this whole thing are the people off in the wings who have the balls to tell you that if you get angry at the people or don't want to take their animals, then you have probably been doing it for too long and should get out as you don't love animals.

Anytime I have posted a rant on our FB or forum about the frustration of people dumping their animals, I get people not even involved in rescue ,telling me that I should be happy to help and if I can't be then I should quit.

Apparently I am bitter and jaded and a poor example of someone working with animals because apparently I dont care about the animals....if I did I wouldn't ask questions or complain that people who no longer want their animals expect me to just drop everything to accomodate their new lifestyle. I run a rescue and thus I should love animals.

Seems you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Apparently you are there to please everyone and dare not express yourself.

Makes me crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

Bunny Horne

BRAVO again, Carol. These guys don't need to be tossed from home to home on "hoping" that they found a good home. It MUST be a good home. They must feel safe and protected. They must not end up living in a crate in someone's living room.
I feel guilt everyday to know that my dog in the 70s didn't get the Cesar Milan treatment - thinking a big back yard was good enough and a nice warm home. Who knew you had to walk them every day. I don't let anyone stay in my life that doesn't treat my kitty with kindness and respect. I have a friend who proudly boasted on social media how she RESCUED a young dog. That was only weeks after she sent her last terrified rescue to "the farm" because he didn't fit into her life. The new rescued dog was all cute for a few months until she realized he wasn't a wee tiny slipper dog as she imagined, but a medium sized dog. Guess where he ended up hour after hour every day - in a fucking tiny plastic crate where he could barely turn around. Recently that "rescue" dog has gone off to parts unknown again.
SAINTS get love and affection, as much as is possible, they DON'T live stacked up in crate after crate. They get to play and socialize. I heard on the radio that Captain didn't make the grade as a police dog because he was too friendly to humans. Too friendly - so who the hell got this precious friendly dog and treated him with unmentionable cruelty.
You have the right to place or not place any animal you want. What's so "saintly" about SAINTS is that the animals are treated with the utmost of respect.
JUST KEEP ON DOING WHAT YOU DO.

dawn

I suck too.... I just wanted to explore the possibility of finding that wonderful forever home for Papa John. What I needed pointed out was that he already had it, with us. I don't know why in my head I figured he needed one. Want and need, 2 completely different things. I live, I learn and hopefully get a bit smarter along the way.

Thank you Carol for all you do, I hope you know how much I appreciate everyday what you have done for me and my family.

lynne

thanks for the rant carol point taken and god i am so sorry. you love your animals and i know that you have their best interests at heart will mind my own business, just thought.

Shawn

Carol, what you do is amazing! I said to the kids in my class today after talkin about Captain who was found in a dumpster, about pet ownership, anyone can have a pet ,it's when you care throught thick and thin,young and old, that makes you a true animal lover. I am trying to educate our future animal owners!

Janice

I really liked that rant and in some weird way it made me feel better . Thanks for saying it.

carly

Since I now volunteer at FVHS I see on about 95 % of the cats profiles...are owners had to move and could not take with. I hate that! I totally understand if the cats owner has passed away and no family memeber can look after it...but if their moving and gotta dump the poor thing...makes me upset. I know how you feel there Carol. You do a wonderful job caring of the old,sick and injured and they all love you for that!!!