i made it!

today is the last day of my hard 21 days...yay! i have a few minor difficult ones coming up...but i think the worst is 8 back to back shifts and i will feel the loss of some previously booked holiday days... but on the whole i got thu the initial hardest part that was worrying me so much. big thx to everyone who stepped up (or patiently stepped back about not so critical stuff) and helped me suck it up!

i do hope everyone suvived without my hurting anyone's feeling too badly. i may not have been as patient, or forgiving, i may not have tried as hard to at least appear a little bit nice or understanding...but i also know that when i sparked off lately..it actually was important..so don't write off what i was upset about to over tiredness or just a bitchy, bad mood.

i will tell you tho what i learned these past few weeks....my job is to protect these animals so people do need to listen and take what i say seriously. if i can't trust the people around me to put the animals needs and safety first...then i should not be leaving them alone here, if i feel in my absence that they may be at risk.

here is a big difference between letting sam and leah wander around down in a bottom field that we all think is secure and leaving the shop door ajar so they can just wander away on their own. i am and have always been far more comfortable when folks step forward and say..oh that might have been me..i am so very sorry....then i am when all i hear from everyone around me is..it wasn't me, i always do this and this, i never miss anything and i never forget... ok fine..so then how did it happen? maybe a ghost came and opened the door for them cuz they were for sure out and walking down the road.. i really wasn't imagining it.

trust isn't a right around here..it is a priviledge we all have to earn. and some folks will take that uncomfotable extra step forward because for them.... it is the animals wellbeing that does come first.

anyway....i might not be so bitchy but i am still watching and checking the gates and the doors.