well

today is the first day of another of my week holidays..except i booked in 4 casual shifts in mission so i don't think this week constitutes as a vacation week any more. so i am downgrading it to a work week with three days off...yes, now i feel better. somedays it is all on how i choose to look at things.

excuse me mya....but exactly how many tennis balls are you planning to eat????? probably having that many peices of tennis balls inside of you is not a really good thing!
love this dog tho...a GREAT DOG is living at saints.

this week are the trial shifts for the last of the two potentials before a final decision on hiring is made. and while i am excited about the new little barn, i get stressed because of the disruption building will cause.

i am still second guessing myself on the size of the shed and dicking around back and forth..i need to decide today before the cement pad is formed.

cuz here are the things i have to think on...how long will dixie actually need that single shed? and should i maybe go back to my original plan and make it a three stall goat shed instead?

there is a practical question inside my head that hurts me every time it comes forward...how long is gideon here for? and then i hate myself for asking it. please god i want him for a long time, happy and well. but when i watch him, i think....he is getting so frighteningly old and frail.

if you ask me..the very hardest part of saints is helplessly standing by and watching a real live god in your life, weaken and begin to insidiously fail.

37 years seems like such a long life but only the past 8 have been here with me and i want those lost 29 years of not knowing and loving and being awed to my core by him.

never fall in love with magical ancient white knights..it is heart filling and heart breaking.

there is no cauldron of gold at the end of this rainbow..there is just an empty bucket waiting to be filled with tears.