it still hits me at barn bedtime to only be carrying 2 food bowls out to the cows..i miss that third bowl for our most giant oaf.
sometimes i wonder how we can be so utterly full yet have such huge but not really empty holes surround us as well.
space is an odd thing..limited in the physical world but unending inside of somewhere else.
last night i laid in bed, supposedly watching tv but not really.
first came daphne and mini me to lick and lick and lick me, next came bambi, tina, joey, peluchi and hilda to tell me they too loved me. finally came june and mystic..together like twins..warm and soft near my face and hands..purposely placed in just the right ways so the two became three in a different kind of unison.
if i was at all questioning my decision to adopt mystic myself...last night i saw the right of it. june and mystic are deeply bonded in friendship and love. they are together deeply bonded with me..we actually are by each of our very own conscious choices...a true family, meant to be.
daphne, benny, phoebe and me were thrown by fate together thru a rescue necessity. i know they love me and i know how utterly deeply i loved them first too but i don't think they were meant to have to love me..not like mystic and june were.
i think it is the same with many of the animals past and present who have come here to saints. why does the life and eventual loss of some of them transcend any kind of time or space? gideon, ellie, tyra, tally, percy, spritely, frodo, clyde and so many others..here now or not....that different kind of unbreakable bond or connection never lessens or is lost.
for those who are not here anymore..i can feel where they still should be....and somehow they still are.
i feel like that about my mother..that she isn't really ever gone away too.
it makes me think of not just the heart connections we made, but maybe there is such a thing as true soul mates. spirits who for whatever reason are so infinitely connected. independent of our physical selves.
i like the idea of an interwoven uniquely personal fabric....beyond time, space and species that keeps us forever safely connected somehow
magic is only science we don't understand.... yet.