and more to come...it is heart breaking.
oliver's bloodsugars were not responding yesterday to the change in insulin type. he went up into the 30's. i am hoping for better results today..my fingers and toes are all crossed.
i have booked smokey's euth. appointment for today..i am taking a later lunch break. i want his last journey to be calm and gentle..a trip to mcdonalds and a couple of cheeseburgers before we head to the vets. i just do not want the middle of the night rush into the emergency clinic for him....i want this to be quiet and peaceful.
there are other kinds of losses. ones that should and do make me happy but bruise up my heart a bit too. joey will be leaving out on an adoption trial this weekend. he has been one of my closest bed buddies for most of six years now. he has the chance for a wonderful family, willing to not only accept but embrace his poor housetraining issues. he doesn't have to change to be loved. joey's adoption worries me..he really needs a great home of his own. i am just wondering if after so long, he can make the adjustment and be happy or if like hilda, he will need to come home. and if he does find his forever happiness there...it means i will have lost another very good friend..he will have left saints behind and moved on. not sure how my room will feel without my little fat boy...well... actually i do know how it will feel...
empty.
but i really do hope joey will feel so happy and full. he deserves this. he is such a very good dog.
and here is the constant conflict at saints..they cannot be happy if we do not truly love each and every one. and every one is eventually going to leave here, death or adoption takes all of them away. and each time one of them leaves to a better life or to a peaceful end...we do truly miss them...we have lost another much loved friend.
if the gift is in the goodbye...we give out many gifts every year.... we say good bye a lot around here.
just thinking, i guess the dogs that arrive at saints and leave shortly thereafter are pretty content with their new homes but the longtimers, this is their home and they love it here. who says you have to have one owner and be one of only one or two dogs to be happy. joey seems perfectly content to have saints for his home, maybe he will love his forever home, but maybe he wants saints to be his forever home. he couldnt have a better home. funny how it goes, you never know what is going to happen, my bambi loves having her own home same as bear, but hida, big bud and larry all had to be here. you try and if it works it is good and if they want to come back here they do. just giving them the chance is great. hope it works out for joey, or maybe see his fat little face back here and that is okay too.