Rescue Journal

it was a bad day yesterday

Carol  ·  Dec. 22, 2012

it started with me in a roomful of cockroaches (not here thank god but it still TOTALLY freaked me out cuz those buggers were running in plain, can't pretend to ignore view, everywhere around me....) bad news with halo as we find just how far her cancer has spread and how little time she has left... and i do not want to deal with that right now. next i was helping smokey to pass and finally by the end of the day i was in the walk in clinic because i really felt shitty. the doc said i need to lose weight, eat healthy, quit smoking, delegate more, work less and seriously reduce my blood pressure had skyrocketed into holy shit realm (200/100..then 195/110..gawd dam frigging cockroaches ruined my whole freaking day!) he immediately started me on a diuretic/antihypertensive which apparently is now probably for life and i am to follow up with my own doctor next week.

honestly this new to-do list just stresses me out even more. plus that med made me get up all night long to pee so i got even less sleep than usual and feel like a sack of shit today. i don't have time to be old and falling apart..i don't have the energy (or the inclination) for major lifestyle changes. i just want a magic new 20 year old body that i can continue to ignore and abuse for a few more years....a much simpler solution for me.

anyway, just so you know, i got my wake up call and i am currently not happy.

ok whining is done, i will work out a new and improved lifestyle plan and just get the hell on with more not so fun (but healthier) living that can withstand armies of free roaming cockroaches during my nursing work day...oh freaking yay.


another Doreen

I take my diuretic in the morning so get the worst of the peeing over with by noon. It becomes routine after awhile. Good luck and Merry Christmas.


Sorry Carol, you mean too much to us all for us not to mother hen just a bit. We'll try to keep it to a nudge.


Carol - I can help if you're motivated - I'll share my ideas tomorrow. I am 2 years cig. free and can tell you about some exercises that will make you feel 20 again (;

Carol guys are too funny (and kind!) honestly..if i absolutely have to do something..i actually will.

the quitting smoking will have to wait til my holidays in january..i am an utter bitch when trying to quit..not good for my guys will just have to deal with my bitchiness. i am already working on the eating better..tonight is veggie lasagna. the stress thing...well if everyone is done dying for a bit, that should sort itself out...and we are not going back into cockroach hotel until it is fumigated.

i am not about to bail out on the animals early..not to worry i will pull it together and mother will drive me insane.

oh and today my blood pressure is down to 150/70 so the meds are working.


I am with Maggie. Let us help Carol. The animals need you and we volunteers are here to help you out for all do!


i agree with maggie, we need to help carol and she needs to help herself. kets get together after christmas for sure and do what we can. and carol, cookies for supper are not good for you. throw in a little baileys maybe. lol


The animals need you Carol! Their lives would be hell if you weren't there to help them! In return....they give you love!


I agree with all these comments. You're vitally important, Carol - both at work, and at Saints. You have a whole crowd of people who care and worry about you, but you are the only one who can make the necessary changes to your health care. The key word here is "delegate" (as the doctor said). Maybe you can evaluate what chores can be delegated and then some of us can pitch in more to help? Bunny, sorry to hear about your stroke - glad you're going to be O.K.

Barbara DeMott

Hey Carol,
The good news is that quitting smoking will save tons of money!!
It ain't easy but I did it years ago amidst a ton of stress. I know it sounds a little weird, but I stopped by carrying a little book with me: the Dragon who Never Sleeps, by Robert Aitken and every time I wanted a cigarette, I read one verse. Gradually, gradually I stopped (it took about three months to go from a half pack to nil)
Not preaching but it really felt good!!


I suggest we, the volunteers, get together with Carol after the holidays and make a plan. Carol we need you to participate and be ruthless about what you need and stick to it.
Your diet is appalling; you smoke and don’t get any exercise all which, by themselves, is a major contributor to stress. Pile on the working around the clock and the major stress of caring for over a 100 needy souls and it’s a recipe for disaster.
You know you can’t go on like this so let us do what we can, including providing good food which you will eat instead of letting it languish in the fridge.
I think you have hit the wall so please, let us all help. We have proved our commitment to Saints but what will become of Saints without you?


Ditto Bunny's comment. I've also had a stroke (at 49, I'm 62 now). I'm on lots of BP meds and have other medical problems including MS. You're needed and loved by many, so have to follow doctor's orders. This is something you CAN do something about, not a life sentence. Change can be good.

Bunny Horne

Carol, this isn't good news. I had a stroke October 4th. A stroke, not a TIA. If I can say I'm lucky it's that it did not hit a region of my brain that impacts my motor skills, but believe me it has impacted me. Extensive testing revealed no genetic predisposition, not related in anyway to lifestyle but solely due to stress. I dodged a bullet, Dr says next time I won't be so lucky - there won't be a next time.
I cannot fathom the continuous stress your body and mind goes through. You, Carol Hine, are so very important in this world, you do so much good, you inspire so many, you care for those that can't care for themselves. You are unbelievably intelligent, you need to follow your own advice that you pass on to others. You need to care for YOURSELF the way you care for those around you. You've got grand babies that need you, children that need you, animals that need you. You are surrounded by a team of individuals that give a shit about you, SAINTS and the guys. Maybe some of us can pick up some additional responsibilities to make your life a little less STRESSFUL. You need only assess your needs and then ask. You are a very young vital woman - the smoking, diet, reducing stress - is all up to you.


I've been on Lisinopril for years. It's cheap, effective and doesn't make you pee every ten minutes.