after michelle helped me put the barn guys to bed, we came in to see the bed buddies. I was sitting on the bed stopping jerry from being stupid and biting june and looked up to the closet and saw that griffin' s playpen was already gone.
there a nice comfy bed in it's place all set up even with a nice comfy pillow all ready for one of the other dogs to enjoy.
it is not that I miss the playpen..i miss that griffin will not be in that playpen in my room anymore.
the vet said it was most likely a massive stroke and I heard the fluid building up in his chest as we were driving to the vet so I am pretty sure he had a pulmonary emboli that hastened his end. griffin never woke up after that seizure..he stayed unconscious right to the end.
I guess in the end I am grateful that I was right there an saw everything from the moment it started til the moment griffin forever left. I don't have any doubts, guilt or questions, I know absolutely nothing could have been done.
but I am left with this emptiness inside me...everything was so fine for us this morning..he popped on past me to get outside, giving jesse shit as he went and then what???..he has an explosion inside his head and 45 minutes later he's dead?
it just seems so unbelievably wrong.
I guess this too goes with the territory...you wake up thinking everything is ok and suddenly it is not.
I am glad he went quickly, I would have hated to see that brave little dog fade away. love you, miss you griffin....without your enraged nightly screaming at jesse, it is very quiet at saints.
rest in peace little man, you were greatly loved by us all.
(thx jenn for his tribute post..i love that video, it so captured the true essence of him. i'll be watching it over and over tonight.)