advice to new parents with pets.

jake has been here long enough for me to know that for a beagle, he really is a pretty good dog. the problem I think was...he was living with a really nice family that was overwhelmed with having small children and just did not have time for him anymore.

but here is the thing that I see over and over when people with pets start having kids...somehow they get so overwhelmed that they turn pet care into something much bigger than it really has to be.

I see this struggle to meets the needs of new babies and existing pets with my own kids and how difficult it can be.
gawd forbid the baby has cat hair stuck on a drooly chin....to new parents it feels like bad parenting... it drives new parents crazy and I think so what, it is not like a liittle extra fur is going to hurt anyone. feelings of guilt that they don't have the time to give the family pets as much affection as they used to...and I think, what does it take to scratch a head in passing, pick them up or bend down for a 30 second cuddle and talk to them while you are pureeing baby food in the kitchen?

and I think this is what happened to jake...the overwhelmingness of new babies and small kids made it seem like his being there was a mistake. so instead of taking a few minutes to invite him up on the bed or the couch for a cuddle while they watched tv with the baby, instead of giving him an extra treat during meal prep and telling him they loved him, instead of taking 5 minutes to toss a ball in the backyard or across the living room floor or engaging in a few minutes of bellyrubs or tug a war....he became emotionally isolated, then physically isolated until he had a ton of non family time to get into trouble repeatedly....and suddenly jake was an insurmountable problem.

cuz here is the thing..i have 100+ animals here who all need something from me and I work full time. so I have learned how to trick them into thinking their emotional needs are met. I chatter at them cheerfully, I give them a few pets and strokes periodically whenever they are before me, I toss them a few illicit treats, and while I am sweeping or washing a floor or refilling their food and water bowls or folding laundry, I good naturedly tease, joke, play with them for a moment or two.

family pets are happy if we are happy ...WITH them. they do not insist on 2 hour hikes in the woods if we are just too busy. they do not absolutely have to have hours and hours lounging around on our laps..they just need to know that we LIKE being with them.
yes they shed, and sometimes they occasionally have accidents or puke up hairballs in the house but it only takes a couple of minutes to vacuum a carpet or mop up a puddle and really... we all have to clean our houses at times anyway. even homes without any pets need cleaning. just wait to see what kind of messes a 2 yr old child or 14 year old teenager can make!

loving an animal and being a good caring home does not have to cease just because there is now a baby. baby two or three might still come and families can and do stretch to accomondate the needs of each one so why not stretch a bit for the cat or the dog's needs too.

the first step is in thinking this thru...what do these animals really need every day...food, water, exercise, mental stimulation, affection...and how can we do it with young kids. it doesn't have to be hours dedicated each day to this...5 minutes to feed, 5 minutes to clean the litter box or let them out to pee.one minute to scratch behind their ears, 10 seconds to say I love you while looking at them. 60 seconds here and there to toss a ball in the house or pull a string across the floor, 10 seconds to reach across the couch and rub their sleeping bellies. a whole entire day just to notice and speak to them for a few seconds, here and there whenever we can.

the trick is not to resent them..the trick is to convince both you and them, that you are so very glad they are there. new parents can feel less frustratated and guilty while juggling the needs of pets and new babies..they just have to take a deep breath and realize that loving is not that much work and will not take that much time if you use what you already have ...kind and caring eyes, hands, and voice.... for a few seconds here and there over the day.