Rescue Journal

well, that's it.

Carol · Jul. 6, 2013

Gideon says he is done.
the vet will come out over the weekend if he needs some extra help to be comfortable and we will arrange for his euthanization early next week.

he is not in any acute distress but he is finally realizing that 37 years of living is enough for him....continuing is becoming too much of a burden.

it seems like he just woke up this morning and decided he wants to be done.
his eyes have a look I have never seen in them before..i can't explain it but I know what it means.

I want to argue with him..i want to plead with him..not yet..don't give up on wanting to live yet.
but I can't. how long do I want him to go for..38,39, 40 years?
it still won't ever be enough for me because I don't ever want him to leave.

Gideon is my teacher, my mentor, my knight in shining armour..he is the light at the end of the tunnel of all old and discarded horses dreams. eight years ago weak, painful and hungry, he stumbled into my heart and moved right into me.

I need to put a big lid on the tears and the sadness that threaten to overwhelm me. the next couple of days are all about Gideon and meeting his passing in gentle peace and dignity.

don't worry old friend..we are all here for you.

Comments

janet nicholson

Crap - it had to be Gideon who was the next to leave. I am so sorry for all of you - but he is one lucky horse to have been so loved in his senior years - and to have people who can "read" his signs and respect them - and all the words in the world are not going to help you let him go, Carol - but his spirit will always be there at S.A.I.N.T.S. where he was loved and catered to!

NicoleMcC

Sorry about mr gideon. I will have to find some of your old photos of him to post.

I've sent you the list. Enjoy...

Cheryl K

I remember Pam working with you regarding Gideon seems like such a time ago..he is ready and good on him to let you know..It is sad in a way but in another way he is ready to move on...he has had his day in the sun and says o-kay let another worthy barn animal come along and have as many good years here as I have...good boy Gideon..

Shelley

I'm sorry. He's a beautiful horse.

lynne

sucks but you know when they are ready to go does not make it any easier but it does make you feel you have done good by them go easy gideon rest in peace

Carol

I am chuckling...Gideon and i do not have a special relationship in the way that you mean penny. he doesn't give a ratz ass about me, most days, can't be bothered to give me the time of day.
in his mind, I am his pretty decent servant, not his very best friend.
trust me..this is a one sided love relationship..i love him and he loves not having to love me back.

to him...I am just one of his groupies!

however.....i can easily tell when he is enjoying his day, taking life in and conversely when he is tired of it all and shutting every thing out. mo saw it today and fionna just posted that she saw it too..all of us who love him can see he feels that he has reached the end of his very long road.
we have been watching for and dreading this day.

Fiona

I was thinking the same thing today Carol, looking at him and at his eyes, he has had enough. Still doesn't make it any easier, he is so loved and will be missed at the barn. He is such a kind old horse. :-(

Penny

So sorry Carol. The heartbreak of knowing that the time has come for a dearly loved animal can sometimes be more than you feel you can bear. You want so much to hold onto them for just a little while longer, but you don't want them to suffer either. The final choice is always about them and not us. I've had to make that decision so many times in my life, as so many of us have. My heart goes out to you. It's incredible that you and Gideon have such a special relationship that you know what he's feeling by looking into his eyes. I don't know Gideon well, but he seems like a truly amazing guy who finally found happiness and love at Saints.

Carly

How did he come to SAINTS? I tried to look under the barnyard animals section and it wouldn't let me.

janey

So sorry to hear for all that loved him and gave him the love and care he needed in his retirement. Always so hard to say goodbye.

Michelle

Oh Carol, that's so sad. I know it shouldn't be like that. I should be happy that he has had the best life can offer since you took him in. I feel overwhelmed at that thought -- I can only imagine how u feel. I'm so sorry. He says its time for another little pony to come take his place so it can feel the happiness that he's felt these last eight years! You are one awesome pony Gideon!!! See you tomorrow :(