oh god, I am so fucking sorry. i totally fucked up.
mini and lance are both dead and every single part of it is my fault.
I should have put lance down after he got Elizabeth and I didn't, I thought he was safe with the dogs and he wasn't.
I found mini me on one of the dog beds, lance had perforated her chest. the vet said it was too severe an injury and she was too old to make it, trying to save her wasn't fair. I had to say to euthanize, I had to let her go.
I came home and got lance and took him back down to euthanize too. I had to, he couldn't stay here after what he did I just can't keep him and everyone else safe.
he was a good dog when he was with me. but I couldn't be with him every second of every day.
I should have put him down after he got Elizabeth. I should have gotten that kennel area built and roofed sooner, I should have known I couldn't control him, his anxiety was just too far beyond me.
I am so sorry lance, I really am so very sorry.
and oh my fucking god mini...I let you get so badly hurt you were supposed to be safe with me. I am sorry, I am so sorry.
oh mini.
I fucking hate this fucking life, I fucking hate myself.
I am so very sorry, how could I have been so fucking incompetent and stupid???
it is my fault we lost two good dogs tonight.