just for the record...

Nyquil does not give you a perfect cough free sleep. I am going to hit pharmacy today for some cough medicine with codeine. I had some earlier in the week and it worked pretty good but sadly I ran out. another couple of days and I should be over the hump and back to normal, I hope.

I have been thinking...

if someone harms you in some way..like they spread vile things about you, they personally attack you, they cheat or steal from you...ok..i get why it might eat away at you, and make it hard to let go. but eventually if you want to stay sane and not become some kind of broken record vendetta..you do need to learn how to move on and let past stuff go.
but why does it bug folks so if someone in some other life that they never ever have to be anywhere near, does shit some way or somehow that they do not like? honestly who cares? and don't give me the sanctified shit that rescue is hallowed ground that must be protected...cuz I have seen the pointlessly bloodied battlefields out there.

here is a fact of life...there are good doctors in the world and doctors who suck. there are teachers who are utterly committed and there are teachers who are not. there are grocery clerks who would give you the shirt off their backs and others who might pocket your change and rob you. every field, every walk of life has those who are good and honest and caring and smart and ethical and hardworking..and those who haven't a clue.

if your only mission in life is to point out and take out your perceived bad ones...what does that say about you?

last week I was called a liar...why you might ask? because I had the CORRECT medical information about one of the animals and someone else didn't. it was simply a case of misunderstanding, miscommunication, of listening to a couple of innocent off handed comments by volunteers who weren't quite up to date on every single microscoptic thing that happens at saints...and honestly, with 120 animals... who would be...except for me anyway?
but once the ball started rolling, it kept rolling right off the cliff..if so and so said this or that, and I said something different, and you happen to all ready be pissed at me because I just made you unhappy...then the natural conclusion is..since I am the bad guy who just pissed you off, then of course i am a liar as well. well I am not, and I have the medical records to prove it.

my point is this...I don't like being called a liar..under any circumstances..it does piss me off. but I can see how that incorrect assumption came to be voiced. that unhappy person who flung that accusation has nothing to do with my life. it was a brief uncomfortable in and out that came and went. it is done, it is over...what goes on in that life now, is none of my concern.

people in rescue don't get this. we each have a corner that we live and work in. my job is to take care of the stuff in my corner...not every other corner out there. if I spend all my time peeking thru fences, setting land mines and traps, pointing fingers at other people out there, just waiting for a chance to catch someone at something to prove I am right...what does that say about me in rescue? that maybe I have far too much time on my hands?

go ahead and incorrectly call me a liar...and i will take 5 minutes to pull out the documentation to prove that I am not. and then I will go back to whatever I was doing before that bombshell dropped.
I will say this again..the best thing my mother ever told me was...you can tell more about a person by what they say about others then what they say about themselves.

20 years in rescue..and i have not one single ax to grind. there is not one single person that I feel the need to seek out and harm. there are people I keep at a safe distance for sure..but other than that I pretty much do not have anything to do with what goes on in their corners of the world.

I have learned to get over it..there are good people in rescue, there are bad people in rescue, smart and dumb, nice and not nice people, sane and batshit nutz. there are people who do stuff and people who talk a lot, there are people who do things differently then me and people I do not agree with on pretty much any level at all.
so freaking what? welcome to the real world.
I say I am a rescuer...not the secret police, not the CIA, not the judge and jury or someone in the peanut gallery. I rescue animals..not people, not society, not joe public, not the moral integrity of every single person associated in any way with animals.
my expertise is with senior, sick and special needs animals and that is what I commit to focusing on daily.
that is my corner of this complicated, mind boggling world and on the whole I am pretty good at it because I know where I stand and I am comfortable with that.

rescue 101...i am responsible for what i do in rescue. i make the decisions on who I am, how i will behave, how i will act. I cannot control the actions or behaviors of others, and sometimes those actions and behaviors may have a negative impact on me. my job is to put aside blame and anger that will ultimately twist me and find a way to deal with it in a positive fashion so I can carry on in the work I have chosen in an effective and positive way.