remember when the other day..i said ethics were fluid?
Carol · Nov. 1, 2013
I said when caught between a rock and a hard place and there are only two evil ways out, we all will choose to do evil rather than stand forever between a rock and a brick wall?
this would be one of those fluid ethic days.
today is one of those days when I consciously, knowingly, choose to do something utterly wrong.
I want to cry. I feel like puking. I want to pack up my bags, say fuck it to rescue and move far away.
today is the day, we cut chevy's horns off.
this is how I felt when I killed fletcher and lance...I have absolutely no heavenly or earthly right to be doing this. these are not times when I am mistaken, don't know, are innocently stupid and ignorant..these are times that I KNOW my actions are morally wrong and consciously choose to do them anyway.
it does not matter what my motivation is...to minimize risk, to keep the other animals safe and alive...to actually keep chevy alive and able to keep on living. because I know that if chevy on purpose or by accident seriously harms another creature with those foreward pointed horns..i will one day too late be killing him to protect everyone else.
there are many folks out there who would choose not to do this..they will take the risk of another animals injury or death, or they will confine him forever alone in a pen somewhere. they would choose to let the poor little cow live as god made him and not hurt him today. others may choose to just put him down, to end the life that he has barely started living because for today and tomorrow and for the next few days that follow... his death would be kinder.
you have to have such a big and kind heart to rescue. and you have to have a strong enough brain to tell that heart to shut the fuck up and just let me get thru being a coldhearted monster today.
we will knock chevy out, we will freeze his nerve endings, we will give him good pain control meds to get him thru the pain. we will do everything we can to minimize his suffering because of my terrible decision that I made for him today.
I hate rescue, I hate rescue, I hate doing horrible things to innocent animals. and I hate that I will keep doing bad things when I am caught between a rock and a hard place in rescue.
I am so very sorry chevy but I do this to keep you and everyone else safe and alive.
rescue is the road to hell that you KNOW you are walking down.