I slept 6 straight hours without waking up once..those kind of uninterrupted sleeps are few and far between..it felt good!
new fat little old beagle arrives here today.... erin?....you can put him in with luke and I will figure it out later.
the four little chi's arrived yesterday for a visit while Johanna is away for the holidays. it was nice to see them again...happy little cheerful buggers..they brightened up the end of my day.
bobbi was moved, one pen over. Dionne set it up really nicely for her. now she has a window so I think she will like it better in there.
I think daisy is pretty much over her virus but her health is still not very good. she has so many underlying issues that I think this took a lot out of her.
chance and jesse and angel are still wobbily balancing right in the middle of the quality of life fence. I peer at them closely now every single day, waiting for some kind of signal from them that says we are no longer doing ok. its hard because honestly they are all so freaking frail and messed up now. but my gut says none of them are quite ready yet to move on....soon, but not yet today.
there is a big difference between an old and sick/dying animal and an old and wearing out animal who is fading away. the difference is in the slow progression of wearing out, their minds, bodies and spirits learn to compensate. compensation takes strength, an act of will and a desire to keep going on. and this means they have not yet given up on living or themselves. I feel a need to be respectful of this will to live someway, somehow, right now.
I look at jesse and chance and angel and I see that they still feel some kind of hope floating for living on this day. the trick is to be there when that hope starts to sink. is hard for all of us watching as they near the end and each day becomes more difficult, more challenging. but it doesn't behoove me to be weak when they show such strength.
this I know about life..the value we all place in living is never because it is fun, simple or easy..the value is in how much we try to keep living. so far jess, chance and angel every day demonstrate a fierce will to go on while I watch and wait for them to decide they are done.
not there yet..one day soon. but good lord you guys, I am in awe of the strength and determination of each of you to keep living life.