I read somewhere that we each have three faces. the face that I see, the face that others see, and the face that neither sees.
I also know that we each have different faces for each of the people we have to be..so as a mother, a nurse, and a rescuer..i may actually have 9 faces altogether.
wow..that's a lot of faces to keep track of when I think about it.
yesterday afternoon, end of the day, all 8 of us are back in our pod finishing up our charting for the day. one of the nurses asks..how's it going carol up at the farm?
I make a face,and say, not all that great and she says...awww did one of the animals die? and I say no the animals are fine, its people shit. we are all still charting or working on the computers, but we always listen to each other and chat back and forth while we are charting or working on the computers. so someone asks..what's going on? I say...oh, there's a bunch that do not like me and think i'm a bitch.
seven chairs spin around and out of seven dropped jaws comes the word..huh? the look of shock on their faces was actually kind of funny.
but the reality is...the carol that they know and love for the past 15 years is the carol they know as a nurse. that carol is cheerful, cooperative, helpful, she is kind and generous, intelligent and skilled...she is actually kind of funny and jokes around quite a bit. they cannot possibly conceive how anyone could possibly NOT like me.
I am chuckling here because I can bet folks from saints who are reading this description of myself, think I am on crack. that is not even close to the person they see here and they are right...its not.
and is that not interesting that both groups actually do know me really well but both see totally different faces of the exactly same carol.
do i I have multiple personalities?>..I don't think so. I just think that different circumstances and different situations and different kinds of demands on the very same person can bring out different parts of the very same carol.
I think I am a nicer person at work as a nurse because all I have to do in a day is my actual work. I am not "the boss," I am just part of the herd. no one expects anything unusually exceptionally special of me except that I be a good and competent nurse.
anyway, I think it is interesting that I can go from one extreme to the other in the same day. I am pretty sure that is the real reason I am reluctant to retire, it feels good to be well liked for 8 hours a day.