I call it gut..sometimes my radar..but really it is that sixth sense of intuition that I think all creatures share..it alerts us to possible danger. I think people who devote themselves to some kind of caregiving...parents, nursing, social work, rescue...develop that skill a little further to reach beyond themselves to include others as well. but I think that 6th sense is there in all of us..if we are open to hearing it.
the problem is sometimes we are too full of ourselves..our worries, our concerns, even our own paranoia's to tone down and decrease the static to really hear what we need to hear. I do so much better around here when I am not stressed, I hear better, I see better, I pay attention better to all of them....when I am not so worried about me.
last night it hit me...roxy's problem is centering on kirk and kirk is not very happy about roxy either. I think he is removing himself from her vicinity as much as he can so he doesn't have to hurt her. and she knows she is pushing his buttons in a dangerous way and she can't seem to stop herself so she is pushing them on purpose but as cautiously as she can...but she is nervous about what may come next as a result of her behavior towards him.
when we think of dysfunctional relationships we think this is solely a human condition but it isn't. look at Wilbur and charlotte's sudden and painful divorce. they were done with each other for whatever reason, that relationship was over. many animals have developed complex human type social conditions just by virtue of living with us for hundreds of thousands of years.
remember when a few months ago, I talked about the reason dogs were so successful living with humans was because they had more mirroring type neurons in their brains then any other species? they have mirrored our feelings and actions back to us for so long that they have hardwired many of those mirrored images right into their very own brains.
I see it here all the time...folks gravitate to the "real" dogs..the ones who are loyal, steadfast, kind, gentle and predictable.
but the ones that are a bit different and odd...phoebe, odie, roxy, tedz, even a baby like luna..they have a harder time making human friends...mostly because no one really 100% likes or trusts them. just like we sometimes feel with humans we meet.
so which came first? the chicken or the egg?..or the off kilter feelings or the relationship difficulties?
I do not know.
but I do know that broken relationships..human to human, or human to animal, or animal to animal are pretty much unfixable unless both parties are willing to try to fix them. one sided fixes never work.
kirk may be capable of cutting roxy some slack and forgiving and forgetting if she quits focusing in on him. I think this is true because he is trying quite hard to avoid an irrevocable confrontation with her. but I suspect roxy is not capable of of the same. and so both are stressed by the other right now and this means it has become my job to do something.
so what to do what to do?
the problem with 6th senses are..they alert you to the problem but never take you to the absolute right solution. you have to figure that out on your own.
and that sort of sucks because you stand a 50/50 chance of problem solving wrong.
I wish rescue was easier. I wish living with a bunch of unique and individual dogs was easier. I wish relationships as a whole in every species interconnected here were far easier than they actually are.
but thank god for that 6th sense that sets off an alarm when something is wrong.
I think I need to look at another move...hmmm..roxy or kirk and to where, with whom?