i could have slept all night...

but I didn't.

I do not know what had phoebes knickers all in a knot but something last night was frightening her. she started at 11 pm and I think we finally went back to sleep, just before 4 am. I alternated between pity and wanting to kill her.

I let her out...well..i opened the door. she looked horrified so I did not push the issue. I made benny get out of her room and then made him come back into her room, I checked her bed, I fed her, I gave her a big dose of pain meds.

whimper, whimper, tiny scratches at my bedroom door....she was actually trying really hard to be polite but she was frantic to get in. I could not let her in, she attacks dogs and people because of her personal space issues. by 1 am I did not care and she was too freaked out to attack anyone anyway. we spent the next three hours with her shaking, pawing at me, maniacally licking my face, and sitting right behind my head. she kept obsessively sniffing the air, cocking her ears and turning this way and that...she was starting to freak me out. could phoebe who is so self absorbed and can never see more than 1 inch away from herself, sense some upcoming disaster..an earthquake, an alien invasion, my own immediately impending death? or is she entering an aging dementia phase, that starts in the dark of the night..is she seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling frightening things that only exist in her own head?

by 3 am I really did not care, I just wanted to sleep and no longer gave a shit if I would wake up again or if she was suddenly losing her mind.

she is ok this morning, more like her usual phoebe. I had some trouble getting her OUT of my room, she thinks it is pretty comfortable, safe and nice.

good lord carol, what were you thinking????? she is going to think she is a bed buddy now.