Rescue Journal

Friday night ramblings

Carol  ·  Feb. 21, 2014

I wasnt at work today. I spent the day at BC Childrens hospital in Vancouver. My son has a rare disease and gets scheduled blood transfusions there every 8 weeks. No worries, but it makes for a long day and not alot of Saints news to blog about. Yoda is going to spend his first night tonite in his very own home, lucky boy! Carol got bit in the ass by Pac, I laughed and asked her if getting bit by a German Shepard who is trained to bite and hold assailants hurt. It was more like a pinch she said, he mustve grazed her by accident playing with a ball, cause I think if Pac ever meant to bite someone, that someone would bloody well know it. Carol is seriously considering renaming the computer room. She is thinking she should now call it the bedroom. Renee and I have been pestering her to make that move for months, her bedroom is just too small. So the tag-along decision will be who moves and where. Who needs her most? Who would be happier? So many factors involved, you would think it would be simple. I personally think she has earned the right to sleep with her own dogs. So that would be Mystic, June, Benny, Luna and Robbie. However whether she sleeps in the computer room or not, some cats have to move back in there. Its totally possible that Robbie will chase them, hes pretty young and mobile, the cats are just the opposite. Is that fair? Of course not. And since there is now going to be direct access to the yard from that room, is it the best idea to give the front yard to the only two dogs we have that excavate tunnels directly to China? Theyve already wrecked the other yard. I also like the idea of being able to spread out the sunroom dogs more, and leaving the door between the sunroom and the old bedroom open. The only way to do that though, is for the current bed buddies to go where Carol goes. Not my decision in the end, and Carols got a couple more days to play with scenarios however she likes.

I am on the volunteer schedule for tomorrow but I shouldnt be, I either forgot to ask Nicole for the weekend off or she forgot I asked. My boyfriend Paul is away this weekend, which would mean I would have to bring my kids with me and lets be honest, I would rather not. If I have to I will, but I dont want to. When I started volunteering at Saints, it was MY time. my own personal time to spend however I wanted, and I chose to spend it picking up poo at an old-folks animal shelter. Maybe I am being selfish here, but thats how I like it. I dont want to be mom volunteering at Saints. I just want to be me when Im there. I fit in there, I get it. From day two it just felt like...home. Like I belonged. Now Carol cant get rid of me! Ha! I can be mom everywhere else, including at work on pro d days. But weekends? Not if I have a choice :) Seriously, wanna know how awesome Paul is? He BOUGHT Pac traffic cones. I did not ask him to. Six of them. Big ones. And I have the receipt to prove it, no returning these ones! Hey, maybe thats the real reason Carols bum hurts tonite, payback baby! Kidding. Kinda.

You know what I think of whenever I think of Carol and what she deals with in a day? A donkey from a Stephen King novel. Now hang on, thats not meant to cause offense, keep reading...

Two donkeys meet at a hitching rail in a western town. One of them is a town donkey with nothing on his back but a saddle. The other is a prospectors donkey, loaded down with packs, cooking and camping gear, and four fifty-pound sacks of ore. His back is bent from the weight he has carried for years. The town donkey says "Thats quite a load youve got there". And the prospectors donkey says "What load?"

So Renee says Jesse was definitely weaker than normal today, more wonky she calls it. He is having trouble making his body go where his mind is telling it to go. But we having been perched on the top of this fence for months now, leaning one way then the other. I swear this dog takes a step towards giving up, then two steps back. Its all about watching for the signs right, and sometimes its good to have the same eyes see something every day, those eyes can see a very slow progression, but may not notice differences because they happen so gradually. New eyes, those that see things less often can notice the glaring comparisons right away. And having the right balance of the two is critical, not just on Jess, but all the Saints, at whatever stage of the game they are at. We all rely on each others eyes, and Carol has to weed through all the concerns, the possibilities, the maybes and the opinions to find the heart of the matter, that lifes truth. And she needs to see with her eyes too. Its a delicate balance between too soon and too late. Because in the end, she will be there for that last breath, whenever it comes. And she needs to be right about it.

What load?


janet nicholson

Erin you deserve a gold star for blogs - totally wonderful. And your partner Paul is an angel - I hope Pac realizes how fortunate he is - six of his very own traffic cones - he must be in heaven - I hope you get to spend your "mom free" day picking up poop - much less stressful I am sure. Thank you for starting my day off with a great laugh!


Erin, I love your ramblings and perspective - and your Stephen King donkey metaphor is too true re Carol.
Note to house volunteers: I may look a little bleary-eyed on Sunday morning - My alarm will be set for 4am to watch the puck drop in Sochi, I don't want to miss Canada getting the Gold in Men's hockey before coming to SAINTS.