i really do love animal rescue...so why when someone i like and i know can most likely learn what is needed, tells me they want to start rescuing, does my heart drop, and i feel tears welling up and i want to tell them not to do it?
why am i happy (and truly relieved) that none of my kids will follow in my footsteps?
oh..i know...i love them, i want to protect them, i don't want them hurt. and rescue hurts....sometimes big time.
if rescue was simply see an animal in some kind of distress, help that animal find some kind of peace and happiness....fine. i would encourage everyone to do it as much as they can.
but rescue is so much more than that...it is dirty hard work, emotionally and mentally exhausting and sometimes so mind boggling petty and mean....it can suck your soul right out of your clay feet.
you can have your faith in mankind renewed a hundred times over and destroyed again in a blind of an eye. it is a roller coaster ride...it is a heart stopping, stomach dropping, i feel like i am going to puke..please, let me off, i don't want to do it again, terrifying and never ending ride.
but that is not what is so horrible about rescue..it is that at the end of the day, on good or bad or truly terrible days....you are always alone.
and people take offence to this because they are here spilling their guts to help as much as they can so how can i say i am alone?
well...it is because i take the hits, i take the punches. no one tries to sabatoge or hurt saints because they don't like brenda or mo. no one feels the need to engage in the character assassination of helga or penny. and no one needs to piss on the 20 years of passionate life long work of erin or shawn.
when the periodic storms start brewing... target has always been and will always be....me.
you would think when these storms are in full swing that i am this terrible, horrible person. i am actually a good person, even a kind person, a person with honor and ethics and some really commendable beliefs.
but occasionally storms still do come looking for me.
it is what it is and i have been around the block enough times that i actually do get it and i have learned to accept it...it is just part of the job. and the job must be done in sunshine, rain and even hurricanes.
but for those i love?...i want them to find a kinder and more comfortable job.
but not rescue...not this.