there has to be a balance in rescue between not taking ourselves too seriously and yet taking our job seriously.
can you imagine the barn guys distress and disappointment..maybe even panic if i decided i just didn't feel like getting all short of breath and sweaty doing the work involved to get them all safely fed and settled to bed tonight. we told and showed them that here they can expect to be cleaned, fed, watered and cared for but tonight i just don't feel like it so you guys can do without instead.
we can lie to each other, even lie to ourselves but if we say we are here to help animals...we cannot ever lie to them.
and that is where rescues go wrong. they start out with the best of intentions but start to slack off. once you start making excuses, turning a blind eye, or pretending everything is a-ok when you know damn well it is not...that is when animals start to suffer at the hands that were supposed to help them.
rescuing animals is somewhat like parenting....a good parent takes care of the needs of their child no matter what...end of story. there is no option for doing a half assed job...do it right or don't do it at all.
animals who require rescue have never had that follow thru committment before. when the going got tough, they got all of the its not my fault excuses and were shoved right out the door. and rescue does not ever do that to them again...when the going gets tough the tough get going until they do reach the goal at days end.
in rescue there are so many things to disagree on but the one thing that is written in stone...when animals come to us needing safety, comfort and a decent temporary or forever home...we are there.... no questions asked, no excuses given, expecting no rewards and without further burdening them with our selfish regrets.
rescue is not a tea party or an adult way to play fun furry house...it is a stark and rock hard committment without loopholes.
the animals in our care have been dicked around with enough..they do not need any more dicking around by humans to mess them up even more.
so last night i was in a hurry at barn bedtime...i wanted to go and share sushi with my two daughters and my grandson. i rushed thru trying to get everyone to bed on my own., the phone call came that i had to go to the vets and be with mama t as she peacefully passed away and when i got home stan from TG was here to pick up daisy. i got to my daughters late, but really enjoyed the time we all had. i rushed home to finish off the bedtime stuff and went to bed confident that everyone was ok.
this morning as i was cleaning out the llama and sheep area i made a horrible discovery....i had left carl from 3 pm yesterday until 9 am this morning without any water at all.
so carl went thirsty in the hot afternoon and right thru the night because i was in a hurry and not careful.
do you know what that feels like to leave an animal for 18 hours in want and need? that because of me he was suffering thirst and unable to drink?
it feels like i am a monsterous careless and thoughtless loser instead of a rescuer knee deep in compassionate kindness and respect for all living things.
rescue has weigh scales and when we screw up, the animals are the ones that pay the price for whatever we have or have not done.
rescue has weigh scales and in this world of rescue, they weigh us moment by moment, day by day. carl knows what i did, he lived it and there is no hiding my shame.
i am so sorry carl.
i want folks to understand..it is not about forgiving myself...its not even really about me..this particular one is more about carl. but universally, it is really about the uncompromising level of responsibilty we carry when we invite or allow others to depend on us..that's the purpose of rescue's weigh scales.