Rescue Journal

reflections of the mirror

Carol  ·  Jan. 11, 2015

rescue is the one place where who we are is sometimes the sum of what others think and believe.
mirror, mirror on the wall...who is the best-est of them all???

I don't like mirrors...I look in them and I see every flaw. in a literal sense, I am old, homely and fat. in a more metaphoric sense. I see the things that are wrong with me reflected in the voices of others and in the voice of me.

it is hard being a rescuer in my own and others angel, a saint, a rescue icon or god...a devil, a hag, a banchee or a bitch...sometimes in the same day, in various mirrors you are reflected as all of the above. all of the views get so muddled and mixed up and how can I see the real me?

rescuers do one of three things when it comes to reflections in mirrors...we ignore them...we deny them as lies or misunderstandings...or we accept them as truth. it takes a lot of time and energy to sort thru the view of ourselves and others to discover which of them is really you.

and sometimes this hurts...falling off pedestals freaking well hurts..balancing on them for long periods of times ain't too comfortable either. being the hag or bad guy in the mirror is no fun at all whether true or untrue.
it is hard enough working thru our own mirror issues but sometimes we get caught up in other folks mirror issues and it is hard to find the real me.

they say we are each three entire people...the one you see, the one I see and the one that neither of us can see.

so here is what I have learned in rescue...stay away from mirrors completely, they are not healthy. they either stroke up your ego or they destroy your self image...mirrors are either weapons to hurt you or selfies to soothe you..neither all that great in the big scheme of things.

reflections do not tell you anything really at all...they are just shallow snapshots of a person who struggles to make some sense of themselves...our wishes, our wants, of how we think we possibly might be.

we are not just reflections in life...we are thinking and feeling human beings. we are not just reflections in anyones mirrors.

I need to stay away from mirrors and just get on with the business of living.



OMG, Carol - you are NOT old, homely or fat!!!!!!!!!! Hope you were joking when you say that's what you see in the mirror?!! If you believe that, then you're looking into a very distorted mirror. I think you give so much of yourself to others, you forget to give back to yourself (and value yourself) sometimes.


"how can I see the real me?" Don't look in the mirror, Carol, look into your heart. That is where the real you lives.