"i will come and lick your face, your eyes, your forehead, over and over again. and you can rub my ears and pet me, but please do not forget yourself and try to kiss me because i will run away as fast as i can...but i will be back to start over again"
"you will play tug with me. You will make all of the other dogs get the heck out of my way so we can play. you will not stop playing with me until i say and that will be at least an hour and you will not let agnes steal my toy..OH MY FREAKING GOD!!! HAGGY AGGIE HAS MY TOY... GIVE IT BACK!!!!!"
"why don't you like it when i blow my nose and your face gets wet? why do you not like it when i lick your arm until it drips? why do you not like it when my teeth poke into your skin, let me peer really close to you and ask...are you super sensitive? And i am going to steal coda bears toy the first chance that i get!"
ROBBIE AND PETE
"we are going to play and play. we are going to run and jump all over the bed and all over the place. and when everyone gets really mad at us for playing non stop we are going to run over to you and lick your face together because we we want you to know that we are very good boys and those other dogs are bad!"
THE LITTLE FAT SQUIRREL
"i will huff and puff, cough and choke, wheeze and gasp right in your ear so you can hear me. and if you stop petting me, i will remind you to start again by sticking my tiny little foot on your eyeball.
" i am going to love you. I am going to jump over you to reach my side of the bed. I am not very good at jumping so i am going to land on your neck or your head. and i am going to kill any dog who climbs over top of you to my side of the bed and i am very sorry if i accidently bite you instead!"
sounds pretty bad doesn't it? the worst part is this is not one incident after another...all of this goes on at the very same time...takes about an hour for the bastards to settle and sleep.
in the mean time...i need ear plugs and a goalie's mask.