honestly? really? you just had to????
it's bad enough that you have anger management issues and quite frankly are often a total and complete jerk. but we have learned to live with this..ever so careful to make absolute sure your bad tempered violence is contained by not unduly irritating you.
today you almost (and may still) lose your eye. not from any internal eye problem, not from infection or disease. no, you unbelievably bone head dog...you ruptured your eye from playing with your toys so violently.
why can't you be like other dogs?..toss and chase a ball? cheerfully rip the gutz out of a stuffy? why do you have to grab toys, giant bowls, swimming pools and fling them, wing them, slam them around so ridiculously violently?
listen pudgy buddy..the vet worked hard to save that eye. don't you dare take your cone off, don't even THINK about biting us when we put your needed drops in your damaged eye. please consider playing a little bit less enthusiastically because if you keep bashing yourself in the face, one day you may no longer be able to see. how much fun do you think that will be?
in short dear diesel..please grab a brain.
your servants who for some odd reason do love you anyway.
(while diesel was under sedation to fix his damaged eye..i asked the vets to xray him stem to stern because he has been sore lately and awake at the vets he is far less than a stellar guy. the xray results are as follows...he has several areas of compressed spinal discs, his hips are toast, his trachea is too narrow, he has an enlarged heart and his knees are full of arthritis. until this morning, it appears the only parts of him functioning well were his eyes and bowels....way to go diesel..now the only thing about you that is perfect is your freaking butt!)