i blew my top a few minutes ago..chicklet's past owner read the blog and phoned wanting to rush to her side at the clinic. she said chicklet is at deaths door and she loves her and wants to be with her. again i said no and not nicely either. chicklet is no longer her dog..she is ours and chicklet is where she needs to be, getting the expert care that she needs. tears and regrets from her past life are no help to her. i said read the blog..when i know something, i will post it.
i phoned to check on her when i got off the phone...she is doing better..her temperature is down and while she is still heavily sedated and still on oxygen, when she is resting her breathing is better. they will keep her sedated probably thru out the night.
so there is chicklet's current update and yes i am a prime bitch.
but honestly will folks please give their brains a good shake..A i am freaking out because she is so sick...B. i feel a great deal of guilt for making it worse by dragging her around in a hot car. and C. we have taken some crippling vet bill hits lately which has us on really shaky ground and tonight we take another hard hit.
but whatever, we'll figure it out..they need and so they will get.
but still...i am completely stressed trying to meet all of my responsibilities to every animal in our care, meeting saints responsibilities to our vet clinics, our staff, volunteers and supporters.
chicklet's high cost medical crises on the heels of miley and eddie's have come too close together during our hardest part of every rescue's financial year...summer sucks for all fundraising efforts.
and yes we will get thru this because we always get thru the hard times... we are determined and committed and we don't give in and call it quits.
but for chrissakes, don't make difficult times harder for us by bringing a bunch of fulfilling outside human needs shit..we've got our hands full paying the bills, providing the care, doing the work, shouldering the guilt, the losses, the deep caring, connection and responsibility we have for almost 170 animals currently in our shelter or foster care.
we gave them a home. we accepted their care. we are their family now. and we pay for it..every single day.
and this is why right now i am so very upset...this is not supposed to be about any freaking human..not even me...it is supposed to be about chicklet...at this very moment..it is about chicklet getting the help that she needs.
and keeping her hope floating.
no one has a right to ask us for more than that.